Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Hop, skip and JUMP!

Risk it. Break it. Set it free.
Nay, not your spirit.
Your bones.

There once was a burglar.
You may think circumstances made him that way.
Isn’t that how you know it? A reason to justify everything as oh- alrightyy and then sympathise with a poor soul. You’re too good not to know compassion dearie.
Nay, I won’t give you that.

There wasn’t any helplessness about him. Only charm from what crystal eyes to hazy vision couldn’t miss. The mundane wasn’t his choice. The mediocre wasn’t his taste. It wasn’t in the extreme he found his calling. So you jump off a plane and make it to fine cut grass cos hey a bruise is bad for you.
Nay, a lull wouldn’t suffice.

Real macho, yeah? Exactly what it isn’t.
The rush is when you don’t know the end, or whether you will stick around when it arrives.
You make it or you don’t. No assurances. No ‘Don’t worry’s’. That’s for momma’s boys.
He had too much finesse for that.
The juggling of keys, the lurking shadows, the dim lit concentration, the nerve racking after each failed attempt like destiny wants to push you off into a hurricane, the comeback with resilience to yet another strike and finally the click of a lock conquered.
The click.
Nay, the click.

There were many good days and then there were few better days.
The good ones cut him slack as he got away with the heist. The better ones pulled him out of oblivion to the grind of a prison wall, that switched stakes from a game of skill to a game of intellect.
Nay, playing with people’s psyche made a wholesome feast.

Came one such better day and they threw him in a dingy cell. His neighbours there couldn’t be more pleased. The rainmaker was here and it would be a matter of time before he conjured a bird from his dilapidated hat and flew away with it. Quite the apple of everyone’s eye he was.
Nay, with vital connections.

The prison wardens on the other hand found it agonising more than gratifying to get hold of him, as rest assured his escape was imminent. What wasn’t, was the fate of their job once his gimmicks had seen the blush of daylight. Tightened to a stifling knot was the security around his cell with not an instant when he was left unattended save his trip to the restroom and even then one hand remained handcuffed to the door.
Rohit carried on for the next two days with a breezy smile like he was on vacation.
Nay, the taunts of prison mates at his first failure to elope, didn’t perturb him.

The next day just after dawn, the prison warden ran to the Superintendent to inform him of Rohit’s unresponsiveness.
So this was how he planned to play his cards, eh?
The doctor on being summoned reported a critically high temperature and implored immediate professional attention at a proper hospital.
Suspecting the doctor’s views the Superintendent himself touched the prisoner’s forehead and withdrew it quickly.
Nay, the rogue had a raging temperature alright.

An ambulance was hailed, and together with a driver and constable in the front seat with a police nurse to aid him, the vehicle sped off as an anxious Superintendent looked on.
No sooner had it cruised a little over five kilometres, the prisoner sat back to relax himself against the cool railing of the vehicle. He looked at the constable from the rear-view mirror and winked at him as he smiled at the driver.
His throat felt good with all the paste he had gobbled.
'Toothpaste eaten in large amounts raises the body temperature.' So he had heard.
Nay, now he knew for sure.

Oh the nurse.
Was she his accomplice too?
Course she was.
Or maybe she wasn’t.
Well he was charming enough to make her one.
Or maybe not.
Was she? Wasn’t she?
Yes, I want to tell you.
Nay, I can’t cos......
Story. Just. Ended.

********THE END*******

If you can't work on it, work around it.
Beat fuel hikes. Make well- connected friends ;)

Indiblogger and Fiat Lenia

Monday, August 15, 2011

Bell the rebel!

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 23; the twenty-third edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for this month is FREE.

Ice cream. That’s what I felt like.
Open the freezer and what do I see?
Vanilla. Bleh! I wish my brother didn’t have such bland taste.
Course I was going to eat it anyway. Just saying.

Today was one of those days when I felt happy without a reason. No, not happy. Over the moon.
Everything was beautiful.
And I wanted to dance with my eyes closed.
Ever had that feeling of being swept away before you catch your senses?
Or like when your favourite music plays and your feet want to move away in a frantic rhythm.
Or when you’re on a swing, up in the air above the rest of the world where no one can hold you down.
Or when the train moves backwards and a strong wind gushes in your face, you can’t keep your eyes open and can only just breathe gulps of pure freshness.
Or you want to laugh your heart out and never stop.

I can tell if you’ve ever felt that way a lot of people would qualify you as psyched.
That’s about us.
Always the soul of every huddle and yet spaced out into a dream galaxy.

Maybe it was the rain or the lazy Sunday that made me feel so fuzzy and needlessly romantic.
I decided to indulge in my bowl of ice cream sitting at the window.
It's like a smile was pasted on my face and I couldn’t get rid of it.

It was in this mood that I caught him walking across the apartment compound, shielding a girl standing next to him from getting wet.
I stared. The smile vanished. I could feel a lump in my throat.
The mercury rising, the tenseness that stiffened every muscle in me and I found the immediate need to do something extreme.
I didn’t want to give it a second thought.
I didn’t want to think about the rationality or lack of it.
And I ran.

I ran down the stairs, out the lawn and into the compound.
He looked my way a little alarmed.
So he never thought I’d get to it. Well never mind.
This had to be my moment.

I looked once more at him.
His smooth chiselled features, lazy stubble and intense expression.
I didn’t care if he thought I was creating a scene.
I could almost feel my hands shake as I said in a tone that spelt hurt,
‘So this is your important office meeting?’
My voice cracked midway and all the vulnerability erupted.

Dazed and uncomfortable, he looked at the girl who now had a confused expression. Clearly, she wasn’t expecting this either. For those innocent puppy eyes of his, nobody would. He came nearer as he tried to calm me down. I didn’t want to break down. No, not in front of him.
Stifling the sob, I ran back the stairs all the way to my apartment.
He called after me but I didn’t look back.
I wouldn’t, I vowed to myself.

At the apartment, my ice cream sat next to the window almost entirely melted.
Oh well, I like melted ice cream too.
It tastes all soft and creamy.
I know, I know. All you really care about is who the guy was.
I have no idea!
Just like to fool around in my free time.

Now tell me what you think. Black nail paint or red?
Jeez! The unending dilemmas in a young girl’s life!

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Happy Independence Day!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Sar jo tera chakraaye!

Isn’t that a beauty???
Yaaa I made it myself. Mast hai na? And I didn’t even know I had it in me until I created this genuine, original masterpiece. *Mwwahh!*
Sometimes na I think I’m just too talented.
The artist in me wants to go sob sob and fill a few buckets of salt water but then this post is not to deal with Paani, but instead Thaili ki samasya.

Arey mere pyaare greenoo popat. Nahi samjhe?
You know what. This is all because you don’t read the newspapers.
Haa so even I don’t, but (un)fortunately I have cousins who feed me with all this faaltu information and guess what. I thought I’d dump pass it onto you.
Sweet no?

Ok ok no more bakwaas. Getting straight to the subject.
As you already know my blog is totally totally janhit main jaari and my only motto is to serve my readers.
Don’t tell me you didn’t know that! *rolling eyes*
So now there is this new mega super duper duniya hila dene wala problem that has come up.
It’s ok baba!
Do not fear, when the Sadiya is hierr! *was that another original? Phew! Main bhi na. Too much hi hoo!*

Problem in question is our very own beloved Central Government that has put a barricade on giving us free plastic bags!!!!
Andddd to make this bad news absolutely the worst, Mumbai and Bangalore *to my knowledge* have even started to implement it.

Yes you have the right to feel morose cos until now there were just two things in India that were FREE FREEE FREEEEE!
Kadi patta and Plastic bags.
And now the latter is gone! Like poof!
*Poof? Sound when genie disappears? Hello hello?*

To ab kya karey?
That’s what you’re thinking. Hai na, hai na?
I mean pehle there was the immense dukh of not buying anything at a mall and still paying 25 bucks as parking fee and now there is the threat of buying something and then too paying 7 bucks per bag! So the aunty log who at one point were fighting for more bags are now going to be doing dishum dishum for lesser ones instead.

The good thing is they allow you to get them thaili’s from home. But the last time I checked, you were supposed to leave all your packs and parcels at the entrance. So how is this going to work?
I mean just when you reach the counter, you say ‘Ruko rukooooo mere paas my own thaili hai!!’ And then race back to the token guy, get your bag, unzip you packages, carefully unfold your angels and offer them as, ‘Lo. Isme daalo!’ Won’t that lead to really long queues? :o

Chalo leave that. Some may argue girls could consider putting extra thaili’s in their handbags. But do you really think it’s as simple as nikaalo, daalo, gholo type? Let me tell you accommodating any alien substance in a girl’s handbag is a maaaaaaajor task cos there’s just so much traffic!!
Wallet, phone, nail filer *oh excuse me but everyone knows, accidents bataakar nahi hote!*, hand sanitizer, gloss, comb, tissues, pens, diary, watch, rubber bands....I mean baangdoo’s and bundhoo’s, you only tell- where’s the space!!!
And what about guys? I was just thinking about it the other day and I felt so baaaddd!

Hence, I have worked out a raapchik solution for all.
Here’s what can be done.
As we all know, it’s rainy season in Mumbai and Bangalore. Ok na?
So everyone’s wearing raincoats.
Now my theory is you could just wear your raincoat to the store, dump all the stuff you buy into the topi and tadaaaaa! Sorted!
Also, if you don’t want to carry it, you just put it on your head, not to mention all the extra security your head gets. Mann! How cool is that!

What do you think?
Got any better ideas? Bring it on! It’s a step towards helping the jantaa of our country!

Disclaimer- Exclusively for any Govt. people or blog blocking folks reading this.
Mazaak tha ji!
I totally support environment friendly activities.
Although mere bacche nahi hai, I’m very keen that 50 generations down, my family dude’s get Voltas AC type shudh air to breathe so basically we are on the same team.
No really!