Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Jhalki's of an overrated 2009

A countdown at the end of year is almost mandatory for any form of media…if you don’t believe me then you can tune into Zoom TV any time of the day and there you are….just about everything is run down on it… 5 toothpaste brands that Shahrukh Khan used….top 5 girlfriends M S Dhoni ghumaaoed…..that’s rite- isko dekho… in the spirit of calling it a year’s end, I’d like to put down the top 5 things that stood out most of all for me…. to an extent that it fell down a few rungs mere nazro main for the needless hype created… Everyone talks about it, all channels blare it galaa phaad ke but what’s in it? Kuch bhi nahi. Poora khaali n yet thopofied on the poor us…..yep overrated…that’s the word! So here’s taking it from the top…matlab seedhe upar se….neeche se nahi… building ke top floor se……..jaha se sab dikhta hai…..and people appear cheeti like….and roads appear straight lines like and cars appear small naphthalene balls like and….ok ok don’t dismiss my article…will start now....

Pehle sthaan par…its Reality TV shows…The latest rage aaj kal.....from Sach ka saamna to Rakhi ka Swaymvar to Bigg boss Triteeya… has been the ultimate corrosion of Indian Television….the most ironic facet obviously being that unlike their category of being ‘real’ they are as far away from reality as gets….to think that people would go on national television and bare secrets of an otherwise dead and buried past just to give cheap thrills to a sadistic audience….dunno doesn’t go well with me…neither does a drama queen staging an entire ‘hai meri shaadi hai’ act….(I actually watched the whole damn thing….and I don’t even like Rakhi!)…only to be left at the end by her making a mockery of us all…….and finally the Bigg Boss phenomena….I simply cannot gather what is soooo amazing about 14 people living in one house…..they fight, they crib and they have inflated ego’s… response…our poor janta goes and gives crores of votes to ‘support’ them….raises a big question in my head… I stoopid or is everyone just going cynical???....Whatever the case, if there ever is a ‘reality shows band karo’ aandolan I’m sure I would find myself somewhere in the lead protesting against these bhukkad log!

Following soon after is….Slumdog Millionaire…..Hate to sound repetitive but what’s the big deal??? Why is everyone going crazy about a guy who comes from slums and makes it big??.....the movie is full of people living in filth, poverty and misery….all that put into an hour an half of cinema and it has got a global audience raving……that’s probably what they want to see about us anyway…Hey!! Look at us Indians…We are soooo poor and exploited….I don’t say its not real but what captures in people’s mind is an image of India that is contrary to so many other positive things! Course it’s a matter of a lot of pride that hamare deshwaasi have brought in Oscar awards but isn’t all this simply because it was created by a foreign director? In my opinion there are a thousand other songs wayyyyy better than Jai ho. Plus there’s Miss Pinto to top it…two scenes of leharoing a laal dupatta and she is speculated to be the next Bond girl. Luck shining all the way!

Farmville- The minute I open my Facebook home page….what awaits me is a bundle of depressing green and brown colors and people eagerly brimming with….Hey look at my farm!! Look at my new plants!! I just gifted you two guinea pigs!! (Yayy me!!)... I could bet that 99% of the people on it have never even been in the vicinity of a real farm, let alone held a spade and toiled under the blazing sun to grow strawberries….and if I am to believe friends…they need to cancel all prior appointments just so they get home in time to water their plants….I don’t even know how to react to that!!!!

Katrina Kaif- Now don’t get me wrong… I think she is fabulous…perfect looks…perfect hair…..above average acting too.…all that is very well….but its the sheer volume of her presence that bothers me…for instance…tune into a news channel and you can see the news wala’s talking about her being the most Googled person….go to a theatre and all through the year there has been at leastttttt one movie with her in the lead….even down to commercials where she is endorsing everything from Lakme Sunscreen to Ponds to Veet to Pantene to Mango Slice…God! This woman is everywhere!!!

And finally its ZooZoo’s- If I have to explain to you what they are then you probably live in the jungle and are too busy gathering wood to build a bonfire so haven’t had the time to be up and about….however crudely put, they are weird white alien like creatures with egg shaped heads, pot bellies, and their voice is close to what normal people call ‘screeching’….the minute they supposedly talk, u need to put the TV on mute mode….dunno what went wrong with the pug to bring in these species…worst thing is everyone finds them soooo cuuuteee!!!! All of this year has seen them intruding spaces in TV commercials, hoardings, IPL matches…and looks like next year will have the same outcome….2010 ZooZoo Calendars!!! So aur 12 months jhelo! Bas isi ki kami thi!

That’s about all I have to seal the deal. Happy New Year!