Friday, December 23, 2011

Hamaar Desi Beetle-wa

Haa haa Namaste Namaste. Yaar zyada formal hone ki zaroorat nahi hai.
Attacking the main course, THIS is what the post is about-

You see that up there? *if you don't then emm click refresh?*
Now I want you to think real hard. What does it look like?
You’re probably thinking *and scratching your head in case you don’t use Clinic All Clear* num num nummmm ‘Ok it’s a Tata Nano where they forgot to put the doors on the side and the Break Dance ride wala headlights.’
Hai na hai na???
This is what our new auto rickshaws are going to look like.

*sad eyes*
I object your honor!
Corruption, Mayavati, Chikni Chameli- all that I can handle;
But taking away my sweetu black and yellow bhopu wala buggy for this oh-look-at-me-I’m-so-chic-and-shiny dumb blonde equivalent is blasphemyyy!

Now as free social service let me explain to you why this is going to be the biggest monumental flop after Delhi-6.
And Raavan. And Idea commercials. And Players. *ok so that’s not released yet but it will still be a flop, you dekh lena!*

Firstly, it doesn't have a carrier! Now please don’t tell me you don’t know the importance of thatttt! We as Indians can travel as cramped as possible; even three people sitting one on top of the other, on top of the other’s lap. *no pun intended please. Shame on you!*
BUT we want due respect and space for our saamaan, OH YES!!!!
And boss what are those two handle like things on the hood? I mean what am I supposed to do with it? If I really wanted isstyle then would I travel in an auto rickshaw you TVS wala dodo???

Secondly, tip tip ke bajaaye dhumad dhumad barsa pani then???? The heaviest rainfall in the WORLDDDD is in my country *Cherrapunji hello?* and this sophisticated pseudo beauty does not even have a curtain! That means I will now be exposed to contaminated water ANDDD possible company with saawan ka maindak’s. Still think it’s attractive, huh!
Wait till I blow you away with my next analytical sooper dooper fundoo point.

Look closely and you’ll see it does not have our old mini Vuvuzuela 'Vuvuzela' shorriee. *the name sounds a lot like Venezuela no? Talk about irony with the country having cheapest fuel prices. That’s why they probably call it vuvu. To rub it in our face each time L(((((* Haa so like I was saying, this one here just has a normal basic flat peep-peep wala horn.
Now think for a minute.*ok that's too long. One second maybe* Does anybody EVER take car horns in India seriously??? That just makes you blend into the crowd and the one reason for autos to swell their noisy jing-jang engine and entourage with pride has been taken away too. It’s like stripping them off their identity! Know what I mean??

I understand this leaves you a little depressed about our golden future. Hence!!!! I present to you the magic vehicle. The REAL saviour. The true warrior that spells DESI all over it.

The next time this elegant lady honks and the bhayya up ahead screams obscenities with, ‘Ud ke jaayega kya????’
We can do just that! Wohoaaa!!!
Time management.
Aerial view.
Extra storage in the tail ‘compartment’.
Aesthetic colourful exteriors.
You name it dude! J


Shobhit said...


So, you are back !?! And with a bang too. I mean back with a 'vuvuzella'. :P

I didn't know they were planning on something like this. But I have a good mind to forward your analysis to the concerned authorities. (whoever they are...) :D

But you can take a lone probable plus from the many drawbacks you mentioned. Why not kiss the 'saawan ka maindak' that jumps into your chic-and-shiny auto, and see if it turns into a prince... :P :D

Who knows.... :D

Muhammad Israr said...

so this solves the mystery of your sudden hiatus from blogger han? you were designing this thing? well i think it surely will flop as you said because of rain and also the scorching sunlight and there will be no shelter even sitting inside :( but wait... the auto-walas will fix it their way... :)

Bikramjit said...

He he he I like the miracle in end
you need to visit punjab and see other re-incarnations of the AUTO :) they are called BHUNDDDDD.. VIKRAM .. and what not .. idle for all the time he he he
have a engine fitted to a BIG trailier ..

had me in smilesssssssss :)


Suruchi said...

I sooooooooooo missed your madness-and what a come back...aate he Abhishek ki le le...and mein dekh longi that Players would also flop:-)the reason-his insane love for leather jackets...

the post is as adorable as you..though end tak cnfusion ne ghera rakha ke Sadiya sach mein bechaare new auto se parehsan hain ki bechaara purana waala ka pyar nahi chodh raha:-)

No Guts No Glory said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Iloveyoudude! Respect to hamare auto. Yeh fat-fatiya hi sabse best hai! :)

Exciting Songs (ES) said...

I wonder why they still retained the three wheel design... Could have made it run on four wheels. If there could be an electric version of this, some noise pollution (and of course carbon) will reduce... The second photo wala auto is too good - That's what I call innovation. Instead of the fans, they could keep solar panels there for back up power.

The Narcissist said...

haha shit If i read this a few mins ago, I could have used it on my latest post :D

Binu Thomas said...

Now I got it!! I was wondering, there's something I am missing in the blogging world.. Kuch toh alag tha.. Ab pata chala.. Where were u all this while?

Yaar, apna auto rickshaw ko bhi modern banne ka adhikar hai!! Abhi kab tak black and yellow uniform mein ghumenge!! And by the way, foreigners bhi aate hai aaj kal India mein, right? :)

PS: I still love Idea ads.. :D

Antarik Anwesan said...

hahahahahaha....loved it :D :D

Rinaya said...

aww missed you!!!!
aise hume chhod k mat jaya karo..but I see you are back with another wow you're forgiven! :D
And tell me ur kidding abt that auto...I mean that would look nice on the roads of say Korea/Japan etc..not India where autowallahs pack autos the way you'd like your sandwich to be filled...wasn't the Nano enough they had to think of something like it again??Time I started studying hard so I get a job & be able to afford a car before this thing hots the roads in my state...

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ shobhit- 'vuvuzella'- *embarassed*
who knows wat.
i don need a princ or a frog. millionaire tycoon kaafi hai i think :P

@ muhammad israr- yaaaa u need all dese sooper techy skills to cum up wid precise dimensions, optimum aligned images n pixel stretch analogy. kiniiii mehnat lagi ki bas poocho mat!
hehe kiddin- took a day n fr d rest was busy bein a couch potato :)

@ bikrammm- :o
arey yaar who wants to visit punjab to c autos. i want to eat aloo da parathasssssss! num num.
btw i dunno wat bhund means bt its a really funny wrd! :D

@ suruchiiii- hieee!!! *hugs* missed u toooo!
i thinkkk leather jackets cos dey hav more personality dan the man fr sure!
haaaa puraane ka pyar nahi chod raha. janam janam ka rishtaaa pal main kaise paraaya kar dooo?

@ harsheennn- aloha! long tymmm!!!
i agreeeee. uske noise pollution ke bina india developed country lagne laga toooo? *terrified*

@ ES- no man electric versions wil nevr wrk in india. reva itself was a MAJOR flop. environmental frnly is gud bt only so long as its pocket frnly too!

@ the narcissist- muhahaha! mayb u shud write nder one on it so evryone wil think ur a rickwala turned blogger.
btw dats really big. chaiwala turned author is a bestseller nw. abhi abhi dekha tha tv pe :)

@ binuuuu- aao sardar aao!
whr was i!! daydreaminggg n givin away flyin kisses to self in d mirror. finally got bored of it so m back :)
e lo. kal ko bologe national flag kabtak tricolor rahega. besides, black n yellow dooooor se bhi dikh jayegi. dis luks all nano like. stop kiya n malum pada company ke ceo ka hai. den den dennnnn?
idea ads me nt likes! sirfff 'koshish main lagey hai bhai saare majnooooo'- uska jingl acha tha.

@ antarikk- hello hello. kem cho! itna complicated naammm!! glad u lubhdd it. keep smilin :)

@ rinayaa- uhh *methinkss hardd* ok itna insist karte ho to nai jaungi :|
exctlyy! its cute bt doosre countries ke liye. culture, heritage etc hum nawjavaano ko hi na preserv karna hai! :o

N.S.Kirti said...

hi this is my first time here. and i nearly rolled with laughter after reading this :) short me- MAST tha :) :)

Hamza Bin Ladin said...

I'd love to ride in that Auto-Rickshaw :P

PS:- I changed my blog's url, so please un-follow and re-follow my blog so that my shitty posts keep on popping up in your Google reader.


Live2cherish said...

:) i can't wait for those to come in indian market.

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ kirti- hellow! main kya ji- dhanyavaad! :)

@ hamza- uske liye fokat main full post padne ki kya zaroorat thi? :P
ur stuf *i don wanna talk abt d quality* stil appears n d url seems fine too. gues im sorted den.

@ live2cherish- d latter probably alredy has.

Hitesh Jain said...

Sadiya..a very different and nice post.Light with gyan and heavy with humour...I loved your way of writing *involving the readers mind*. Thanks for sharing. :)

hitesh jain said...

Sadiya..a very different and nice post.Light with gyan and heavy with humour...I loved your way of writing *involving the readers mind*. Thanks for sharing. :)

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Raja said...

You sound like Anushka Sharma.. very irritating. Nice humor.