Friday, December 23, 2011

Hamaar Desi Beetle-wa

Haa haa Namaste Namaste. Yaar zyada formal hone ki zaroorat nahi hai.
Attacking the main course, THIS is what the post is about-

You see that up there? *if you don't then emm click refresh?*
Now I want you to think real hard. What does it look like?
You’re probably thinking *and scratching your head in case you don’t use Clinic All Clear* num num nummmm ‘Ok it’s a Tata Nano where they forgot to put the doors on the side and the Break Dance ride wala headlights.’
Hai na hai na???
This is what our new auto rickshaws are going to look like.

*sad eyes*
I object your honor!
Corruption, Mayavati, Chikni Chameli- all that I can handle;
But taking away my sweetu black and yellow bhopu wala buggy for this oh-look-at-me-I’m-so-chic-and-shiny dumb blonde equivalent is blasphemyyy!

Now as free social service let me explain to you why this is going to be the biggest monumental flop after Delhi-6.
And Raavan. And Idea commercials. And Players. *ok so that’s not released yet but it will still be a flop, you dekh lena!*

Firstly, it doesn't have a carrier! Now please don’t tell me you don’t know the importance of thatttt! We as Indians can travel as cramped as possible; even three people sitting one on top of the other, on top of the other’s lap. *no pun intended please. Shame on you!*
BUT we want due respect and space for our saamaan, OH YES!!!!
And boss what are those two handle like things on the hood? I mean what am I supposed to do with it? If I really wanted isstyle then would I travel in an auto rickshaw you TVS wala dodo???

Secondly, tip tip ke bajaaye dhumad dhumad barsa pani then???? The heaviest rainfall in the WORLDDDD is in my country *Cherrapunji hello?* and this sophisticated pseudo beauty does not even have a curtain! That means I will now be exposed to contaminated water ANDDD possible company with saawan ka maindak’s. Still think it’s attractive, huh!
Wait till I blow you away with my next analytical sooper dooper fundoo point.

Look closely and you’ll see it does not have our old mini Vuvuzuela 'Vuvuzela' shorriee. *the name sounds a lot like Venezuela no? Talk about irony with the country having cheapest fuel prices. That’s why they probably call it vuvu. To rub it in our face each time L(((((* Haa so like I was saying, this one here just has a normal basic flat peep-peep wala horn.
Now think for a minute.*ok that's too long. One second maybe* Does anybody EVER take car horns in India seriously??? That just makes you blend into the crowd and the one reason for autos to swell their noisy jing-jang engine and entourage with pride has been taken away too. It’s like stripping them off their identity! Know what I mean??

I understand this leaves you a little depressed about our golden future. Hence!!!! I present to you the magic vehicle. The REAL saviour. The true warrior that spells DESI all over it.

The next time this elegant lady honks and the bhayya up ahead screams obscenities with, ‘Ud ke jaayega kya????’
We can do just that! Wohoaaa!!!
Time management.
Aerial view.
Extra storage in the tail ‘compartment’.
Aesthetic colourful exteriors.
You name it dude! J