Friday, October 7, 2011

Chashmish kisko bola, huh???

You know that amazing never to forget moment when you accidentally hear an exceptionally nice compliment about you, like some motu aunt exclaim ‘Allah! Kitni pyari bacchii hai na?’
*and then your mind refuses to believe you actually had the audacity to address a sweet moderately healthy woman as motu*
You feel like you’re reclining on a lot of Fairy dish-washing liquid waale bubbles and ethereally floating in the cool cloudy sky.
Yeahhhhh, that uber awesome feeling.
It’s never happened with me.

What really happened is this.
I attended this crash course sometime ago *at the time when exams play tablaa tak-dhina-dhin on your head and you go into a state of Omigod-I’m-gonna-flunk-and-mum’s-gonna kill-me, sort of panic*
So somewhere in the middle of that a *not so good looking to be honest* guy asked his friend if they must clear a subject doubt with the girl in orange *read- me*.
To which the other dude friend said this, ‘Kaun wo chashmish?? Don’t even think! *nods head* She’ll just slap you and keep walking.’

*!!???!! What the what???*
Never mind the above statement makes me look like a total geek or worse still a hapless behenji of sorts. Never mind also, my failure to comprehend why I would slap a poor guy for asking a harmless subject related question.
*I mean do I look like the sort of person who goes around slapping random people??? And what does ‘keep walking’ mean anyway??*
The most irritable thing though, was the use of this word ‘chashmish’. I mean talk about discrimination. Whoever said I wanted free access to that league by complete strangers??

For a start I don't even wear them all the time. A year ago my eye doc gave me this wowwieee news that I need to be wearing specs when reading, at the computer or watching T.V. *which frankly I still don’t understand cos reading is short distance and T.V. is long. Uhh correct na?*
Anyway, this was like my dream come true. Ever since I was in Class 3 I had prayed to God to please please pleaaaase let me have those plastic really really round colourful specs like my friends, so I could keep touching it and act like a total snob.
*Don’t ask. In school, I was just weird*

So after much over-enthu deliberation, bugging the sales lady for about an hour and value addition on how buying something round would make my cheekoo face blow up to look like a ‘balloon’, this is what I bought.

Smart, eh? If you think that way for one teeny beeny weeny moment then you got to see me wearing them and you'd imagine I jumped out of The Flinstones in a black and white TV set. In my defence I was soooo confused.
Also, might I tell you, my family cooperated really well with this new change in appearance.
My bro said- 'Dideee what’s that ‘thing’ on your face!'
Dad said nothing. His expression was a blank stare *read- yuck yuck yuckkkk!*
Mom said- 'Beta aur kuch available nahi tha?'
Don’t even ask me how much I paid for it. Except, well I didn’t. Somebody else did, and I got it for free so it’s cool.

Now after this unwelcome response I seriously pondered over how specs is really a long term investment and I need to focus on delivering my absolute best in term of aesthetics and I came up with this-
Oh right.

*Image Unavailable*

Why, you ask? Because emm
I lost it.
Ok ok. I KNOW I kept it on my bedside table but then under some shady inexplicable circumstances the next day it just disappeared. Now don’t be a baalti and suspect my ability to search stuff. I did. On the table, in the draw, on my head *just in case you know*
Critical analysis- I think somebody stole it. Which btw I take as a great compliment. I mean surely they have more faith in my choice than I do myself. How awesome! \m/

Hence, I bought yetttt another pair and here’s how they look.

Did you just imagine them to be slightly broken?
*bheegi billi expression*
Yessssss, they broke. *buhoo*
But you know this is what ‘experience’ is all about.
Now I know and can even give YOU some serious gyaan on why you must never dump ze pince-nez in ze duffle bag without the fatso Dabba.

Anddd this brings us to my absolute final venture. All the manhoos Dhanno's are out and Raampyari is in!

Honey, I promise to love, honor and cherish thee, 'till death do us part.
O yea!
Purple is the color of this season and that’s what I was gifted last week.
What you thinks??? Tell tell! *tukur tukur expression*

Soooo that’s my specs story. I’m a really low maintenance person that way.
Share your specs story too. If you have one, that is. J


Princess of The Dreamland said...

I don't understand why why .. o why .. people who want to wear specs from class 3 don't get them n people like me who never wanted one.. had to wear since class 7 and this is just the beginning... My First one those pinky-transy-Oval-Dadi maa Style specs with the supporting string around the neck.. The First Day I wore them and went to school my classmates looked at me as if am some ALIEN :( I begged.. cried.. pleaded My dad to get me a newer bttr (Chick) Looking one for me but.. to no avail ... so (its a secret) I Tried to throw them from first floor.. sat on them bt no... they wouldn't break... then I found out they were unbreakable.. how could I forget My dad always thinks of ROI while buying anything and everything.. and no I had to wear them ALL the time coz my number started from 1.5 usse pehle mujhe pata hi nahi chala meri eyes kamzor ho gayi thi.. (always the front bencher U know)

Ooops feels like I wrote a Mini Blog here.. hihi.. Anyhow I got rid of series of specs and then a series of lenses finally by getting LASIK done and the world looks beautiful with Nude Eyes :D

ateeq mughal said...

eat lots of carrots. :P
as always
a class apart stuff :D

Daniyal Arain said...

I've been trying to get specs since grade 1 - Spending 25 hours in front of computer daily but yet God damn my eyes, NO SPEC. I can still see thing like an Eagle or something like that. :')
May be I should just buy specs that are not for weak eye sight and just wear them but then people ask "Is uyou eyesight weak" and Me say "umm no" and they say "Pangay lene se baaz nahi aye" -and me like "pappu yaar tang na kar"

My bro has weak eysight since grade 3 O_O he is on a 3 something spec. he buys cool glasses every month @_@ I envy him.

May be someday I'll turn him into a Mango and steal his glasses 'cos I'm awesome.

And You Look like the sort of person "slapping everyone who asks you a harmless thing". :P

@_@ Don't harm me with Autumn and Spring Mangoes

Rahul said...

:-( I personally don't like specs.Such a drag!!!!Wish I didn't have to wear them.....

Kunal said...

Girls look good in specs :D

I also wanted to wear a spec...and envied my younger brother for this... I think..I will have to wear an anti-glare spec to fulfill my wish...

The guy who called you 'chasmish' deserved a :)

Thank You :)

Muhammad Israr said...

hmmm.... so finally we discovered that you wear glasses... and believe me if somebody had seen you in the specs in the first pic, he/she should have thought of you as a chishmish... :) but the latest ones are sushmita or diya mirza.. :)

Shobhit said...


I never had to use specs. But I've had a lot of experience with people going crazy about choosing specs for themselves. :D

I would have liked the look of the first one on you though. :P

Suruchi said...

haaaaaaaaaaaaw, itne pyari dp hain yahan-bilkul yash johar ki movie se fresh fresh nikle hue heroine jaise-all that's missing is a table fan that would have lehraaoed the zulfein a little and phir bhi woh dimwits ne aise bola?????????

na sadiya na-aise gawaar n kambakht logo ki liye "what the what" na waste kar!

i sooooooooooooooooooo love reading you..each line makes me smile:-)if i had started writing earlier I would probably write like you:-)

rahul aggarwal said...

the doc once suggested specs for me..but i had no plans to wear i always thought ..if like this naturally (without specs i mean) i don't look, it'll be worse when the specs i turned out to be a carrot-and-green-leaf-eater and hasnt stopped till date!!!


PeeVee said...

Lol, from third standard? I craved only from grade 8:P
But by the time I got to high school, I couldn't wait to get 'em off, so switched over to contacts.
Now I pretty much hate glasses. That's my specs story:D

As for the chashmish bit, it's perception:P That all glass-wearers are nerds:) I get called one almost everytime I even get my specs out-_-

P.S: I liked the other dp better, pretty in pinkwala.

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ princess!- hehe nw dats a wonderful story. i used to louuve dose oval specs wen i was a kid.
kinda reminds me of my cousin. she bought a new frame, kept it under her pillow n slept on it by mistk- broke d nex day.
so den she wanted to get rid of d old hideous frame, applied d same technique n voila!!!!
one day, two day, one month, few more months- frame stil exists :D

@ ateeq- oho oho! exams ki padhaai aise ho rahi hai? :P

@ daanuuu- u get d rotfl comment award!! hehe mine is only 0.75 n yet ive done so much drama ki ghar main sab pareshaan ho gaye hai. my bro has 3 point sumthin fr d last 4 yrs. he bought one frame n dats it. nevr broke, nevr changed.
bt i stil maintain im a very low maintenanc person haa :o
do u kno deres a mango facewash? lakme i think.
i wil pour d entire thing on ur head so ur zulfeinnnnn become all slimy n gooey.
muhahaha! :P

@ rahul- u wear specs n u dont hav a story to tel me? :(((
*sad eyes*

@ kunal- SOME grls luk gud in specs. odrs wear dem in d 4 walls of deir room n nobody evr ends up findin out.

@ muhammad israr- u dint 'discover' it, i gave it to u on a platter.
aur haa exaggeration ke liye thnx :P
saw love, brk ups n zindegi today- suhoooper bakwaas!

@ shobhit- soooo u cud make fun of me n probably even compare my khoobsurat eyes wid lalita pawar? :(

@ suruchiii- lol. yaar wo sab to thik hai lekin mera shahrukh khan kidhar hai? :o

@ rahul- soooo dat helps?? r u serious? bt stil i think specs is better dan paalak. i jus HATE paalak! aarghh!

@ peevee- contacts r seriously freaky if u ask me. hav cn frns n i almost hav an anxiety attack to watch dem conveniently put it into deir eyes! :o
i kno i kno i sound sohooo outdated. mera kuch nahi ho sakta :(
abt dp- dis is d flavor of d season. den ill get tired of cin myself in d same clothes all d tym so wil change. wich reminds me, ive nevr cn youuuu miss victor. batao batao itnaaaa bada secret kya hai??

ateeq mughal said...

exams khatam :P

Daniyal Arain said...

If you poured the whole thing on my head I'll become SUPER SAIYAN(Daniyalified) - And I will turn everyone into a Mango and Sea into Mango Juice and Clouds into ....Grapes?

Daniyal Arain said...

I was cutting Pomegranates a few days ago and I got mad at them for calling me cruel so I picked up the BIG Knife and threw at them like a Ninja - unfortunately some of teh juice splashed into my eyes. And My Eyes Were Opened.

if I want my eyes to be colored red - I should put a lot of Pomegranate Juice in my eyes, only then I'll meet my heaven.

So I did that. I started putting a lot of Pomegranate Juice in my eyes but then it started irritating - And I stood Strong 'cos "Kuch Paane Ke Liye - Kuch Rona Parta hai"

But after that when I checked my eyes. They were still the same old Blackish Brownish thing.

Moral: Childhood is a Lie. :[

Shobhit said...


Lalita Pawar's eyes have been one of the most expressive pair and gave a different dimension altogether to her acting. :D

And I guess the first pair of specs would give an altogether dimension to your personality too. :P

Cloud Nine said...

LOL@ the story..Sad my son wears one too and i am forced to search for it every morning. Grrrrrr! And when the school van honks its horn, i look for it under the pillow, near the bed stand and even in the laundry bag...Oh...tragedy! Whatever when my son is called *hey u in specs* i really feel like punching the jack*** straight on the nose:P

Joe said...

@sadiya : awesome post...:D:D
'What the what' totally rocks! ;)
Who said specs make people nerds? duh!
Mujhe bachpan mein chidathethe : 'chashmish'...dats a fact but i guess it makes children very angry :P esp I used to be irritated beyond words !!
Par ab,its a part of my personality :)
And hey contacts don't hurt, they are very tender :)....

Animesh Ganguly said...

I wonder how you can write an entire post just on specs, and that too and enjoyable one at that.
As for my specs ki story, bhagwan ki kripa se ab tak to nahi laga, I wish to stay away from them, though my friends say that I carry them well :P

keep writing Sadiya, you're good!


Sarcastically Special said...

We are really impressed with the way you write. Seems to be coming straight from the heart which makes it lovely and "peppy".
Keep going :)

Sarcastically Special

Fatima said...

Fortunately unfortunately even me a chasmish :P but yaar meri story toh bahot wadi hai weirdo hai..toh usse toh chod hi do :P

Anyways kinne careless kudi hai tu jab dekho todum tadi..:P

didee...tussi great ho :D


Anita Jeyan Sandeep said...

Wen you craved to wear specs in third grade, you know what I craved? Homeo medicines. My friends used to bring those tiny plastic bottles which contained sugar coated round white balls and kept eating them even during class saying they were medicines. And we followed allopathy, and at that time I dint knw there were so many streams of medicines, so I prayed for a cough or cold to come so that I can eat those. .! :D
Ya my specs story is super weird. I had three specs in all my life...and I lost all three of them...and the realization that it got lost came long after - cos I never wore them. Now I have one...and dont know when its time comes.

Anonymous said...

I don't wear Chashma *so no chashma story to share with you :(*. by the way, the first Chashma with Black Frame was Awesome it reminded me of a movie *thinking, wait for it*, got it, KAL HO NA HO, Preity Zinta's chashma was same :)

Aquib Mastan said...

I used to wear them when I was in the 7th std. One year later, they were gone. And since then, I've never had eye problems *proudly saying*; but I really wish I could wear glasses most of the time, like those really big thick-framed ones that rap artists wear. :p
I'm gonna buy them anyways. Not necessary that i need a 'number' to wear a pair! :)

Annnnd yours are good too. Personal choice: the ones in the first pic were the best! ;)

Exciting Songs (ES) said...

Looks like you seem to have terrorized some poor guys! 'Keep walking' means ignoring people - But I know you're not like that, at least in your blog.

Four glass designs, and someone else paid for them? Wowwieee, I wish I had a network of sponsors like you! :)

And know one thing: Chashma increases the age. That's why I am wearing them. To look older than what I actually am - Well, it was required for my job. Mostly chashmish's are geeks. I am damn sure you are not one :)

Blahblaholic ♥ © said...

Hahahahahahahaaa, kuchh bhi. That guy is mad :p
And no, you do NOT look like the sort of the person who goes slapping around.
When I was in 5th/6th, I used to crave for specs. I started reading dictionaries in the night. Don't laugh haan! Dictionaries have really small print, so :-s
Whatever, I got specs. Have lost one pair. This is my 3rd, or 4th :s Been 'chashmish' since years now. :| And I hate it.
Now I want lenses :p

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ ateeq- dat was quick!! welcum baq :)

@ daniyal- in d meantime wid ur red eyes wen u saw urself in d mirror, ur heart suddenly went in a tipsy drunken state. y??? think think!
'gulaabi aankhein jo teri dekhiiii.... sharaabi ye dilll...ho gayaaaa!' :P
ab kya bataaye, reality is an illusion. only traffic is real :o

@ shobhit- o yea? thnx. r u so kind or m i jus imaginin it :P

@ nivii- lol. hw cud it possibly get in d laundry bag!!!!!
dats really sweet n wen hes a lil older wid chakachak rimless glasses, d tables wil hav turned ;)

@ joe- ya i gues dats wat eventually happens. if my bro wont wear it, half d wrld wont even recognise him!
lenses- tender or not, big NO.
its a mental block i gues :)

@ animesh- wel u kno dey say a gud writer is one who can even mk a speed breaker sound interestin. specs r stil sumthin to play wid. mayb u shud try dat!
nice to c u here :)

@ sarcastically special- 'we'? wel anyway thnx n i hope dat wasn a sarcastic comment :)

@ fatima- acha behna itminaan se kisi din sunaana :)

@ anita- hehe dats so cute. i used to love dose lil white meds too n our doc was so nice, he'd give dem widout actually puttin d medicine in it so v cud jus eat it like candy. n den mum wud giv me n my bro 2 evryday until d bottl was empty. n vd b sooo super thrilled.
sounds silly now!! :D

@ sayedkhadri- haaaaa exctly yehi bakwaas bolke my frns got me to buy it n in d frst place n in d whole process v forgot d small technical aspect dat i don look like preity zinta. AT ALL! :o

@ aquib- hehe cmon hw did it jus go??? if i wer to wear my hot shot frst pic chashma n luk up class 9 scienc text book, its nt possibl.
nw listen carefully. i hav a todu fodu theory fr u.
mayb ur power was +1 n den u strained ur eyes further n it became -1 as wel, so dat set off u now hav neutral power. tadaaaaa! *smug*

@ ES- nah d thrd one i paid fr myself :(
luk a lil over ur age is fine i gues bt 'hag', im nt so sure cos dats hw i feel wen wearin dem :D

@ blahblaholic- read a dictionary at nite
*straight face*
yessss, u warned me nt to laugh so nw i need to lie :((
lensesss num nummm yaaa green color n den wen its nite n lights out, shine d torchlight in ur face n wake up d youngest member of ur house wid a slight tug n kitten like meow :o

Asma Khan said...

Like your way of writing... :)
Visit my blog--> Stay Blessed

Bikramjit said...

awwwwwww you look beautiful in the pic on ur profile ..

u see i read the line that no one said good things to u, so i thought what the heck give it a try :)

and even i dont bereak that many glasses .. :) the new pair look classy and i am sure you look super cute wearing them :)

I hope you are smiling....


subtlescribbler said...

ohh..i'd been wearing specs since i was in 4th first it was a delight, slowly turned to be a duty and now people say that i look better with specs contact lenses r useless :(

and chashmish is a cute remark...dil pe nahi lene ka, besides almost everyone is a chashmish now a days, so can always give a 'back to u' thng! :D

And i on the contrary keep my specs with utmostttt safety, so no stories to tell abt it...
cool post like always :D


Binu Thomas said...

Thats quite a post !! Fortunately (or unfortunately) I wear specs only when I have a headache, and that too rarely !! :D And all the best managing your third specs :P I somehow feel we will have a post some 6 months down the line explaining your experience with the 4th specs :D

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ asma- thnx. like ur dp :)

@ bikram- jaao jaao itna forced compliment humko nahi chahiye :P

@ sarahhh- aisa kya? frns say is fine bt strangers say is weird :o
itni careful?? fir to ur sach main a nerdy doc sahiba. ab KOIII shak ki gunjaish nahi!

@ binuuu- yaaaa i do dat too. wear only wen i hav a headache *read- movies*
n no dis is d 4th frame. as i sed, secn specs pic unavailabl :o

Bikramjit Singh Mann said...

forced nahin tha.. :) he he he aap to bura maan gaye .. acha dubara boloon kya .. he he he he

keep smiling and god bless


Blahblaholic ♥ © said...

Huhuhuhuu :P
I was pretty desperate re :/
Hahahahahaaaa =)) No thanks. My younger bro is anyways darpok types. Heart attack se mar jaayega :P

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ bikram- lol.
*ok serious now*
nahi dats ok. d moment is lost :o

@ blahblaholic- rotfl.
arey yaar koi to try karo. soch rahi hoo main hi daraa doo apne bhaai ko. bt den if he gets panicky n punches me in the nose den i mite need plastic surgery or sumthin.
gues ill pass too :D

The Solitary Writer said...

u'd prayed that u wanted to wear those glasses.. :D how on earth could you...out of excitement seeing people wearing those... any way the 2nd one looks too good :D i have that only...i have it since class 9 and it is one of the most irritating thing....and the chasmish comment ...heard it many ignore ;) how are you waise?

Rinaya said...

Me too!
I guess every blogger who is bespectacled would have a story to tell about their specs...I too wanted a pair even before i went to school 'coz all my cousins had one!And as i grew older I graduated to contacts( and tore them off too):P
Wish i could post a pic of my current pair here..people call me a journo now.. still its better than being called Gangadhar Mayadhar Vidyadhar Omkarnath....

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ ste- hehe ya i did c ur new specs wala pic. bwackk :P

@ rinaya- u can tear contacts?? i din even kno dat. genrl knowledg wise dis post has bn grt.
ganga etc.- wats dat! sounds hilarious :D

Anonymous said...

Ohh Dear Really Nice GlassI like It..