You know that amazing never to forget moment when you accidentally hear an exceptionally nice compliment about you, like some motu aunt exclaim ‘Allah! Kitni pyari bacchii hai na?’
*and then your mind refuses to believe you actually had the audacity to address a sweet moderately healthy woman as motu*
You feel like you’re reclining on a lot of Fairy dish-washing liquid waale bubbles and ethereally floating in the cool cloudy sky.
Yeahhhhh, that uber awesome feeling.
It’s never happened with me.
What really happened is this.
I attended this crash course sometime ago *at the time when exams play tablaa tak-dhina-dhin on your head and you go into a state of Omigod-I’m-gonna-flunk-and-mum’s-gonna kill-me, sort of panic*
So somewhere in the middle of that a *not so good looking to be honest* guy asked his friend if they must clear a subject doubt with the girl in orange *read- me*.
To which the other dude friend said this, ‘Kaun wo chashmish?? Don’t even think! *nods head* She’ll just slap you and keep walking.’
*!!???!! What the what???*
Never mind the above statement makes me look like a total geek or worse still a hapless behenji of sorts. Never mind also, my failure to comprehend why I would slap a poor guy for asking a harmless subject related question.
*I mean do I look like the sort of person who goes around slapping random people??? And what does ‘keep walking’ mean anyway??*
The most irritable thing though, was the use of this word ‘chashmish’. I mean talk about discrimination. Whoever said I wanted free access to that league by complete strangers??
For a start I don't even wear them all the time. A year ago my eye doc gave me this wowwieee news that I need to be wearing specs when reading, at the computer or watching T.V. *which frankly I still don’t understand cos reading is short distance and T.V. is long. Uhh correct na?*
Anyway, this was like my dream come true. Ever since I was in Class 3 I had prayed to God to please please pleaaaase let me have those plastic really really round colourful specs like my friends, so I could keep touching it and act like a total snob.
*Don’t ask. In school, I was just weird*
So after much over-enthu deliberation, bugging the sales lady for about an hour and value addition on how buying something round would make my cheekoo face blow up to look like a ‘balloon’, this is what I bought.
Smart, eh? If you think that way for one teeny beeny weeny moment then you got to see me wearing them and you'd imagine I jumped out of The Flinstones in a black and white TV set. In my defence I was soooo confused.
Also, might I tell you, my family cooperated really well with this new change in appearance.
My bro said- 'Dideee what’s that ‘thing’ on your face!'
Dad said nothing. His expression was a blank stare *read- yuck yuck yuckkkk!*
Mom said- 'Beta aur kuch available nahi tha?'
Don’t even ask me how much I paid for it. Except, well I didn’t. Somebody else did, and I got it for free so it’s cool.
Now after this unwelcome response I seriously pondered over how specs is really a long term investment and I need to focus on delivering my absolute best in term of aesthetics and I came up with this-
Why, you ask? Because emm
I lost it.
Ok ok. I KNOW I kept it on my bedside table but then under some shady inexplicable circumstances the next day it just disappeared. Now don’t be a baalti and suspect my ability to search stuff. I did. On the table, in the draw, on my head *just in case you know*
Critical analysis- I think somebody stole it. Which btw I take as a great compliment. I mean surely they have more faith in my choice than I do myself. How awesome! \m/
Hence, I bought yetttt another pair and here’s how they look.
Did you just imagine them to be slightly broken?
*bheegi billi expression*
Yessssss, they broke. *buhoo*
But you know this is what ‘experience’ is all about.
Now I know and can even give YOU some serious gyaan on why you must never dump ze pince-nez in ze duffle bag without the fatso Dabba.
Anddd this brings us to my absolute final venture. All the manhoos Dhanno's are out and Raampyari is in!
Honey, I promise to love, honor and cherish thee, 'till death do us part.
Purple is the color of this season and that’s what I was gifted last week.
What you thinks??? Tell tell! *tukur tukur expression*
Soooo that’s my specs story. I’m a really low maintenance person that way.
Share your specs story too. If you have one, that is. J