Monday, August 1, 2011

Sar jo tera chakraaye!


Isn’t that a beauty???
Yaaa I made it myself. Mast hai na? And I didn’t even know I had it in me until I created this genuine, original masterpiece. *Mwwahh!*
Sometimes na I think I’m just too talented.
The artist in me wants to go sob sob and fill a few buckets of salt water but then this post is not to deal with Paani, but instead Thaili ki samasya.

Arey mere pyaare greenoo popat. Nahi samjhe?
You know what. This is all because you don’t read the newspapers.
Haa so even I don’t, but (un)fortunately I have cousins who feed me with all this faaltu information and guess what. I thought I’d dump pass it onto you.
Sweet no?

Ok ok no more bakwaas. Getting straight to the subject.
As you already know my blog is totally totally janhit main jaari and my only motto is to serve my readers.
Don’t tell me you didn’t know that! *rolling eyes*
So now there is this new mega super duper duniya hila dene wala problem that has come up.
It’s ok baba!
Do not fear, when the Sadiya is hierr! *was that another original? Phew! Main bhi na. Too much hi hoo!*

Problem in question is our very own beloved Central Government that has put a barricade on giving us free plastic bags!!!!
Andddd to make this bad news absolutely the worst, Mumbai and Bangalore *to my knowledge* have even started to implement it.

Yes you have the right to feel morose cos until now there were just two things in India that were FREE FREEE FREEEEE!
Kadi patta and Plastic bags.
And now the latter is gone! Like poof!
*Poof? Sound when genie disappears? Hello hello?*

To ab kya karey?
That’s what you’re thinking. Hai na, hai na?
I mean pehle there was the immense dukh of not buying anything at a mall and still paying 25 bucks as parking fee and now there is the threat of buying something and then too paying 7 bucks per bag! So the aunty log who at one point were fighting for more bags are now going to be doing dishum dishum for lesser ones instead.

The good thing is they allow you to get them thaili’s from home. But the last time I checked, you were supposed to leave all your packs and parcels at the entrance. So how is this going to work?
I mean just when you reach the counter, you say ‘Ruko rukooooo mere paas my own thaili hai!!’ And then race back to the token guy, get your bag, unzip you packages, carefully unfold your angels and offer them as, ‘Lo. Isme daalo!’ Won’t that lead to really long queues? :o

Chalo leave that. Some may argue girls could consider putting extra thaili’s in their handbags. But do you really think it’s as simple as nikaalo, daalo, gholo type? Let me tell you accommodating any alien substance in a girl’s handbag is a maaaaaaajor task cos there’s just so much traffic!!
Wallet, phone, nail filer *oh excuse me but everyone knows, accidents bataakar nahi hote!*, hand sanitizer, gloss, comb, tissues, pens, diary, watch, rubber bands....I mean baangdoo’s and bundhoo’s, you only tell- where’s the space!!!
And what about guys? I was just thinking about it the other day and I felt so baaaddd!

Hence, I have worked out a raapchik solution for all.
Here’s what can be done.
As we all know, it’s rainy season in Mumbai and Bangalore. Ok na?
So everyone’s wearing raincoats.
Now my theory is you could just wear your raincoat to the store, dump all the stuff you buy into the topi and tadaaaaa! Sorted!
Also, if you don’t want to carry it, you just put it on your head, not to mention all the extra security your head gets. Mann! How cool is that!

What do you think?
Got any better ideas? Bring it on! It’s a step towards helping the jantaa of our country!

Disclaimer- Exclusively for any Govt. people or blog blocking folks reading this.
Mazaak tha ji!
I totally support environment friendly activities.
Although mere bacche nahi hai, I’m very keen that 50 generations down, my family dude’s get Voltas AC type shudh air to breathe so basically we are on the same team.
No really!

43 comments:

Alka Gurha said...

Raapchik idea...your writing is so fresh and young..Mast.
It takes time to come to terms that no plastic thaili from now on...But good.

sayedkhadri said...

Great.. and Mere Pass ** Thaila ** hai.. and I use ** CHATHA ** ;)

Binu Thomas said...

Kya bol reli hai tu yaar !! Raincoat wala mast idea hai !!! What about those casual trousers jisme 6 pockets hote hai... What say??

And by the way, is it Rs 7 per bag?? Is it that costly??

Cloud Nine said...

Arrey..Sadiya, pehle Ash,Bips aur baakhi sab Dhak Dhak logon ko plastic thaili prayog karna chodne ko bolo, phir hum chodenge:P Cute post, Sadiya:) Loved the cartoon. Good work!

Prateek said...

Mera paas Environmental friendly Tahila hai. And it is costly.

Shobhit said...

:D

A 'thaili-funny' post ! :P

Still can't believe you did that sketch at the top... Wooow ! :D

Shilpa Nair said...

Oye Pagli! Main to Gujju-land mein hoon. Sab Gujjus ki tarah I have grabbed a 1000 thailis from Star Bazaar, Big Bazaar, Bhindi Bazaar etc etc kyunki free hain na? So ab mujhe koi dar nahi. Stock hain ghar pe ;) ;) Gujjus back here are so angry and depressed ki govt. charge karne lagi hain aur isliye, they have gone back to sewing their typical-frill-wala-thailis out of discarded petticoats, blouses, frocks, (fuck even bras and chaddis)etc.

;p ;p

sunwicked said...

"thaili" when i saw the cartoon i was like thaili is wat ? food,car,habit,typical deewar" mom" in sm firangi lang . It took me some time to know oh ji plastic bag hamara
:)
nice post specially the comics part :P

Gaurav Dhamija said...

A thought provoking post indeed. What author has shrewdly observed here is that govt is conspiring to strip the innocent citizens of yet another "priviledge".
So let's all stand united in this tough time with the author who has some ingenious ideas to get us through this trouble.
All hail the great author !
Disclaimer: Ain't nothing to it. Yeh life hai.. take it lightly.

Kiran Ashraf said...

Mery pas Thaili hai....ROFL :)

suruchi said...

the poofs and the tadaaaas and the bangdoos and the bundhoos...aapke jaisa kisse ka style nahi hain ji...haanji aap sach mein too much ho...aur aap artistigiri bhi..kya baat hain!:-)

such a pleasure reading the sweet conversationalist kinda writing!:-)

Harish said...

Well written..! But I feel banning plastic is a necessary evil. It may be a bit inconvenient, but in long run may turn a good decision.

Bikramjit said...

He he he he :) you know each time i come ot read something you have written it always makes me smile :)

lovely ...

Bikram's

Ashish Kalsi said...

Was smiling till the end reading your post. Perfect way to end a long, hectic day :) Thank you for this...fun read!!

Anonymous said...

Ya i hv gne thr it in mumbai and it was utterly shocking when i came to kw the 1st time...tat to aftr shopping to my hearts content at big bazaar :( and paid 25 precious rupees for the bags....:heart broken:

The Solitary Writer said...

beedu yeh mast post tha bole toh ekdum entertaining...but seriously i guess plastic bags were banned earlier too ...but they were nt followed...there was somehting like shop keepers will be fined when they give plastic bag or something like that.....btw this is a good post :)

Hamza Bin Ladin said...

Humari sarkar ne bhe hum pe yeh papabandi lgai thi.

Humari jaanta nhe use reject krdiya=D

Large super stores offer both paper, and plastic bags.
BTW, I better idea would be using Cloth bags? It's make you look like a Dhoban but thta's that.

Mast post. And I remains always veri veri afrreed of ya=D

AaDil Merchant said...

I really think news should b written like dis..Neva tot dis wud come out so well..Innovation at its xtream! Hats Off..( ?? Y cant audit nd law b like dis)

Kunnu said...

Hahaha...

This was funny :)

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ alka- yeaaa. bachpan ka saath hai. ekdam sudden se chod diya :o

@ sayedkhadri- raj kapoor

@ binuuu- areyyy satyavachan!
haaa cargos. par uske pockets to thode chote hote hai na. gues its gud fr small items. n heyyy utility dekha jaaye to its too cool.
i mean jus imagine. u go to buy vegetables. ek pocket main bheendi, ek main tomatoes n so on.
kuch bhel banne ka chance hi nahi.
super! keep it up!
n yes- strted wid 2, den 5 n now 7!

@ niveditaa- lo ji unke to husband aur boyfrns hai na unke branded thailis pakadne ko ;)

@ prateek- tumhare name ke logo ke saath hai isliye? :P

shobhit- hehe. forget d post. u like my art na. bas dats it. wahi sabse important hai. jus imagine hw famous im gonna b wid my fine strokes! *sunglasses*

shilpa- you medammmm get d ROTFL comment award!
frill wala thailis- lol. ya man ive seen ppl doin dat!
thnkfully v r safe. until nw i only thot TN n Kerala r like a whole diffrnt country. nw im pakka pakka sure of it!

@ sunny- hehe so dere actually was a pyaare greenoo popat readin dis. who wud hav thot! :P

@ gaurav- author is damn excited dat sum1s callin her an 'author'!
i think ur disclaimer is bettr dan mine.
*sad eyes*
tryin to steal my thunder, arent u! :o

@ kiran- *blush blush*

@ suruchiiiii- artistigiri! oho oho! :D
main bataoo kya!! aftr MF Hussain's demise na our country was under dis shadow of depression n b4 u knew it- BAM! d nex big thing was lukin rite at u. kamaal hi ho gaya bas!

@ harish- wel i may hav agreed wid u bt den wen u read in d papers abt odr countries sendin all deir junk to india cos its deir idea of 'waste disposal', a plastic ban on us jus cos v cant help it, doesn mk sens to me!

@ bikrammm- oh thnx so much. dat really is d whole idea of d blog.
keep smilin :)

@ ashish- hey! glad i cud do dat.

@ anonymous- y no name huh!
lol. so nw v kno fr sure its true. dekhaaa! raincoat pehenke jaate to aisa kabhi nahi hota!

@ ste- i dunno dis is d frst tym m hearin of it. i kno hill stations main dey use only paper bags n dattt i think is d way to go!

@ hamzaa- wel gud. at least one person in dis wrld is afrreed of me!
share wid us also na hw did u reject it. even v want to!
cloth bags- hehe. kabuliwalaaaa!
*famous hot shot guy hai wo. mus read abt him if u havn hrd b4!*

@ aadilllllll- wohoaaa! im jus so upbeat to c ur comment here! thnx much, n well law to thik hai basssssss FM! if nt dis, den at least let it b in normal human beings wala language :o

@ kunal- yayyy! :))

Sunil Padiyar said...

Nice one Sadiya... :P Altogether different post. Still smiling :P .. And nice idea by the way.. he he..

Kankshita said...


Hullo, lady!

I happen to be a new addition into your list of readers, so with an intention to begin with, I am Kankshita and dint read from you before!

Now this, am I even supposed to mention anything about the quality of the prose, if it is one in first place? It is like a highly amusing and edgy piece of work, that reminds me of the mannerism of kids a few years here and there older to me - how much Indo-Western can English language get now? You just set a new standard, though!

Your observation is the coolest, actually! I am as much the girl who'd carry a bag out home as virginity-obsessed Bella Cullen is. But this just struck me, why would I not carry a nail filer for the safe aiding of my claws, anyway? Fascinating!

But alright, I also dun object this, I hate these plastics bags my mother conveniently adjusts flat under my bed mattresses after every shopping session!


Amusing read!
Cheers!

The Solitary Writer said...

Well see even here where i live...we use paper bag...and i guess we are supposed to carry our own bag while we buy anything...but do you really think any one could actually stop people from using polythene bags...woaaa and blog updated as well

Princess of The Dreamland said...

Can I Give you a call Name .. peeezzz peeezzzz peezzz... --> "Kahaniyo ka Pitara"

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ sunil- lol. gues u wer xpectin fiction. n yep thnx!

@ kankshita- hie! mus say very unusual name!
welcum to d blog.
n no its nt prose its jus timepass :)
arey dis reminds me of my naani. she also used to keep dese polythene covers beneath her couch ka seat so vd keep falling off it all d tym!!

@ ste- no dey cudn n im sure dey don even want to. sab drama hai bas!
read ur story- don understand ovr half d smileys :(

@ princess!- hehe kno wat! i c dis as a marked improvement frm my mom's tag of 'baaton ki barkat' :o
n hello ye to story tha hi nahi!!
*confused*

Princess of The Dreamland said...

not for this one.. bt in general.. read so many of ur write ups...

its like u have this Santa Claus type Bag and u Open it and there comes a new Story .. all engrossing and beautiful... even the sad ones too.. :D

Kunnu said...

Sadiya..

I did the mistake of giving this link to Princess...She has become totally hooked to your stories..even to the point that she thinks..she talks like you :)

She has shared atleast dozen links from your wonderful stories on her FB page.

Now, you have a stalker in your hands.. :P

Princess of The Dreamland said...

Kunnu.. can't help it.. she is so addictive... indeed Peppy with a punch..

n nt jst me... my frnds too have loved her blog..

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ kunal- hehe so long as its nt jaanleva, any publicity is gud publicity :)

@ princess!- im beet red! wat els cn i say! :D

Arjit Srivastava said...

This is my first time over here, and certainly not going to be my last, followed your blog instantly after reading this post. =))

Kya ulter writing mein likhti hai, re? Matlab. Full too entertaining. Story to story, story itne class tareeke se? Waah. Aur gyaan bhi itna item, aur modern type ka? Kasam se, feel aa gaya blog padh kar ke. Yaad aa gaya, why on Earth (Or, some other planet, most probably!) I started blogging.

Your blog is a must read for the ones around, kasam se. Keep writing, seriously. :D

PS: And "Another of those people who came here by mistake? Ye Google bhi na too much hi hai!" -> =))

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ arjit- im positiv ive hrd ur name b4. but kahaaa.
mus b sum hot shot guy methinks.
on india tv? :o
hee okk okk glad u liked d blog so much. qurbaan jaawa! :)
tc n keep smilin :)

Zeba said...

It's been a while since I read hindi. I forgot how rapchik and mast it can be. Sigh. Voltas AC type shoodh air. Man. There is no end to your awesomeness.

Raam Pyari said...

phunny posht!

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ zeba- hehe i suppose dats a rather large dose den. glad u enjoyed it :)

@ raam pyari- aloha! dhanyavaad ji.

Live2cherish said...

:) Loved your narration. following you.

Hamza Bin Ladin said...

This is in response to your comment at my Blog.

You are so right about records are not much. And the people are suffering. Yet, they smile. I tell, you they smile.

My maid, the sole bread earner of her house, earns 4,000 a month. She bought a RS 300 flag yesterday. And she smiles.

So do a million other people. Living in troubled times doesn't mean one should stop smiling. We have to look at the brighter side. The life goes on.

Records DO matter. They are morale boasters. Surely they don't give the hungry bread to eat, but at least they motive him to GO ON. It's not about my family/friends are safe. I lost a cousin a couple of years ago in a terrorist attack in a mosque in Rawalpindi.

I am not a blind optimist. Yet, I believe in spreading hope, not gloom. I can't join the many people monotonous ranting about the problems we face. I am different.

What motivates you to study more? Seeing/remembering the Good grades you got last time or thinking of the exams you have failed? I think it's the good grades that keep you going for more. They are the real morale boasters.

Of course you have an opinion, a right one. But I have a point too. You can't cry all the time. I can't do anything. but I won't cry too. =D

Ramadan Kareem to you too!!
No, mei abhe aap ki tarah bhariya writer nahi bna hu. Aap ki post pahr pahr kr
kuch learn krne ki koshish kar rha hu mei =D

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ live2cherish- cute name. Thnx!

@hamza- :)
so ppl r motivated. Super! Den?
Motivation is aimed to initiate action. Kno dat? Its nt wat sadiya, bt any neutral text wil tel u.
So whrs d action part? Sing d anthem, feel inspired, smile. Ho gaya???

My opinion was nt so u cud change ur stance. I dunno y u felt dat way. N i din say don smile, i sed don smile as a defense to a problm n call it good spirited. Dey don both mean d same thing.

Wen u say dont spread gloom, giv a reason to hope, i agree! Jus mk sure d reason is fr real!
I hate to brk dis bt our countries r nt 'grt' as u sed. Dey wer, Inshallah sum day dey wil b too, bt rite nw its jus an illusion. Frm d tym ive seen my country d only grt thing dat happend was d wrld cup n i don think it qualifies fr greatness at d same level.

flag fr 300???- Woah! Did u mean 30? Bt even dats pricey cos v get it here fr max 5 n mostly free!!!
N yea thnx. Lousy xcuse. Cant believe u thot id buy it :P

Hema said...

Yeah that a very good initiative.. I just blogged about the conservancy services.. Its a good step for, as you said, 50th generation people

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Sadiya Merchant said...

@ hema- hehe cheers! :)

@ web hosting india- fab. publicity thru me! so flattered :P

Maham said...

you are just so cool :P

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ maham- hai na? mujhe bhi kabhi kabhi aisa hi lagta hai :)

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