Thursday, July 14, 2011

When you kiss a frog....



This post is written for Blogeshwar and Campusghanta

Are we going to talk about frogs? Yes, absolutely!
Just one in particular actually- Dodi, the hero of our story.
Now ever since he had been a little toadie to the time he grew into a handsome green slimy frog, he had only one girl in his life- Tinky.
Unlike humans, frogs don’t have different complicated sets of girls in their lives, like ‘just friends’, ‘more than just friends’, ‘good friends who can be potential girlfriends’ ‘girlfriends’, ‘fiancée’s’, ‘wives’ etc. No. It’s just one and that’s it. Besides, why take all the trouble- they all look the same anyway.

Haa ok so let’s focus here. Tinky was the only girl frog Dodi had ever known and loved and now you may think I’d say somthing like she didn’t love him back or the father was unwilling. But nah! Frogs are just eggs and grow up on their own, remember? None of this family waala pangaa.
HE loves; SHE loves; NO villain. Simple plot.

Everything was smooth enough for red heart shaped bubbles to float in the water of the moat that they called home but if that's all there was to it, then there wouldn’t be a story to tell right?
So one day as Dodi was having a sunbath for his shiny, slimy green coat to get a rugged tan and floor Tinky all over again, the unthinkable happened.
An ugly creature scooped him up and kissed him. His already huge round eyes almost popped out of its sockets like spiral springs in utter shock.

Whoaaa! Wohoaaaaa!!!! Who the hell does this mad woman think she is? I’m committed for God’s sake!’, Dodi wanted to croaky yell but all he could manage was a cough.
He had often heard at his froggie school about this age old folktale of a frog from their fraternity that turned into a prince and some such baloney, but hey, wasn’t that just a story?

Apparently not. No sooner had the ugly creature kissed him, his beautiful handsome gooey green coat was shed to become a pale white dry mass covered in silk robes with stick like hands and legs jutting out of from odd places. His long tongue was cut to an economical size too and as he stared at his reflection in the moat water, what looked back at him was an odd, ugly, squinty eyed creature.

Maybe this was what aliens were all about. And now they had taken him on their team. As he almost lost balance on his newly acquired feet the girl who called herself Neemi held him up and kept hugging and screaming alternately until a huge crowd gathered. That’s when she decided to announce to them that he was her prince. Naturally, anybody would be more than happy to dump a nagging loud mouthed girl like her on him.

They gathered around Dodi, introducing themselves and shaking hands all asking the same question, “Yo, Your Highness! Wassup!”.
Whatever that meant! Quite the show stopper he had become. He nodded and said something incoherent to which they rolled their eyes and walked away. Till date he had only met a few fruggly fishes and fatso whales but they too now seemed gorgeous when pitched opposite these uhh ‘specimens’.

Next he was shown to his ‘room’ by Neemi, which FYI was nothing but dry land with fancy wooden pieces  and a ‘box’ that flashed colors in which was yet another ugly woman reading some gibberish. Hello! Whatever happened to water. That he found was what came out of a funny looking thing in another small ‘room’. This surely had to be the smallest waterfall he had ever seen.
His heart hurt to think of his poor Tinky who would be waiting for him to come home.
Would he ever be able to see her again?

If only he could get Neemi woman to convert him back to being a frog! He could barely sleep in the brimming bath tub that night due to his longg stick legs. As he eventually dosed off with fatigue, Dodi dreamt of a Fairy Frog-mother who gave him the answer to his haunting question.
If the girl creature slapped him within 24 hours, he would become a frog again!The next day he set himself to the task of getting slapped. He thought of all the things that annoyed Tinky the most.
Well for one thing, she hated him croak loudly. Bingo!

As he met Neemi, he tried to croak loudly and out came a cough.
Hurried, she patted his back and showered him with confetti of concern.
He tried again, and out came a louder cough which sent her on yet another concern spree after which she fed him with food that didn't have a single worm!!!! Veggies, more veggies, root veggies, leafy veggies, light green veggies, dark green veggies, olive green veggies, even flower shaped veggies.
He had never felt more miserable before.

As all the food and medicine closed in his throat he felt a nauseous sensation that brought it all rolling out on her dress. Tishcaooo landed a tight slap on his face with frenzied agitated cries of anger.
Well who cared! His slimy coat had returned.
Dodi leapt out of the house and dived into the moat to meet his lovely Tinky.

As he met her, she folded her hands and asked the daunting question ‘Where have you been?
Helpless he turned around and said, ‘Oh nothing. Just went hunting to reserve our hibernating location. Girl, don’t you know anything about inflation and recession and stuff?

Cultural shock had certainly left him with an acute hangover.

**********THE END***********

P.S.- Thanx! ;-)

30 comments:

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

Lovely.
Oh this is for Blogeshwar??

Good luck, hope I get enough time to write one post.
when is the last date?

Drrama Queen said...

Haahahaha,damn cool this one :D

KWP said...

:D

suruchi said...

my god girl-the first paragraph was brilliant (lol-ed at the complicated set of girlfriends and how for poor frogs they are all the same)and the rest of it naturally followed-you would make many a women kiss frogs n god knows what all now!

and what amazing brains are there in your pretty head to twist such a cute tail into a hilarious ride?:-)

sunwicked said...

gud one again.ending needed smthing more, not fitting for this brilliant post.
You should approach a publishing house now, very gud collection u have here now =]
*envy*(a liitle bit)
.In btw working on a new site.

Shobhit said...

:D

That was really awesome. Now we know something about the nightmares of the frog-world. :P

"she folded her hands and asked the daunting question ‘Where have you been?" ... Now that's something which is common between the females of both the species. :D

Cloud Nine said...

LOL!!! Poor Neemi....she misses Dodi:P Reminded of the other Dodi who died for love...Superb girl, Your imagination runs really wild!

subtlescribbler said...

omg sadiya...what brains :O
this was so beautifully vague...yet i really really liked it.
U shud definitely publish a collection of these most that arnt to be found newhere else!

and m still clueless on cultural shock..ne ideas? :(

sarah

Hamza Bin Ladin said...

This was/is my favorite part of the post.


Unlike humans, frogs don’t have different complicated sets of girls in their lives, like ‘just friends’, ‘more than just friends’, ‘good friends who can be potential girlfriends’ ‘girlfriends’, ‘fiancée’s’, ‘wives’ etc.


Aur aik baat suno, mujhe ap ka blog pasand hai jabhe tu parhta hu =p

PS; Tum beizati bhut achi tarha krti ho.*Thumps up*

sayedkhadri said...

Very Good and Very Interesting.. :):)
I think, It's time you start writing a book!!

Alka Gurha said...

Lol...that was some imagination.
I wanna go to Froggie school too.

Prateek said...

Now tell me did you betray the human race because they have multiple options. :p
Post was nicely written with a simple plot, male frog-female frog-no villain.

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ muddassir- yepp! last date i think is 24th. not sure haa.

@ drrama queen- thnx! glad u liked it :)

@ kwp- ab iska kya jawab deeee! oh haa bade buzurg keh gaye- haso, jiyo, muskurao....kya pata kal ho na ho! :P

@ suruchiiiii- lol. nai yaar. i once read ki all foreigner ben's r attracted to indian guys cos dey think dey r loyal.
so jus wanted to put across ki baba its nt like dat- fidelity hi chahiye to doosre options bhi hai! :o

@ sunwicked- oh u think so? dunno i thot dodi goin back baq to tinky shud hav bn d logical end.
andddd hello mr 100! i don even kno ur name!!! i hope ur not wrkin on a technical site again. bohot boring rehta hai :o
do send me the link once ur done tho. n ekdam chakachak banaana ok!

@ shobhit- lol yessss ur rite! n heyy wat abt frogs eyes being boiled by witches to make magic poitions. put dat on d terrorist list too!

@ nivedita- nah she dint really love him daaat much anyway!
'love is patient, love is kind....not quick to tk offense.' hai na?
hehe dodi fayed- sad but nw at least v kno who he was.

@ sarahh- arey yaar abhi to mere bacche bhi nahi hue n ur alredy suggestin ways of dem disownin me kya? :o
cultural shockk- vote aap log kiye n ur askin me? buhahaha!
ok seriously man, no idea. i mean ideas to hai like foreigner cums to india or north- south attitude divide bt honestly its nt very fresh.

@ hamza- :(. aise nai hai. i honestly thot ur comment was a long shot off d post so faaltu ka y waste ur time. neway my mistk. shorrieeee!
humka maaf kari do shaabjiiiiiiii!
*pleadin eyes*
*khushhhhh to bohot hue hoge tum! :P*

@ sayedkhadri- hmmm yes. wil wait fr big bazaar ka old guds return offr. u kno dey giv muchhh better price dan d raddi-wala :o
ok all aside- thnx! its very kind of u to say dat. :)

@ alka- yes i cud speak to the frog princy n get u admitted bt frst u hav to promise to take ur own worms as tiffin evryday. cant borrow n all. its bad manners na!

@ prateek- nahi its cos evryones corrupt n yet nobody wants to bribe me :(
thnx! xcellent observation :P

Binu Thomas said...

Hey Sadiya, cool story... and nice to hear it from the Frog's end.. :) Cultural shock indeed :)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

aila, mujh ko laga ke frog-girls kuch to alag hoti hongi :P

Aaate hi, kahaan the ab tak. :D

Awesome post.

Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete

CRD said...

Good thing the Princess wasn't Chinese. Poor Mr.Frog prince would've had to turn cannibal at lunch time.

Cheers
CRD

Felicity said...

Haha..this was extremely cute :D
u write really well :)

Prateek said...

Hahaha! Same here.

Fatima said...

lol...wow Sadiya how come you come up with such stuff...its funny and even interesting you know :D

Loved how Dodi was worried about his Tinky..I so wished men were also worried..but they are busy flirting..kuch seekhna chaiye inko frogs se, don't you think ?? :P

Nice one...

Take Care.

The Solitary Writer said...

:) this was too creative...i should say that this was great and well written and the theme was justified too

Shahid Mukadam a.k.a Shady West Side said...

Hilarious and great writing girl...keep going

Rinaya said...

wonderful post.. I read this one the day it was published.I actually laughed out loud at the reaction of the frog on being kissed...hilarious post yet again!
All the best for the contest :)

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ binu- thnx man!

@ anshul- arey yaar wo bechaari concerned thi na ki kahi koi whale ya shark kha to nai gayi uske dodi ko! :o

@ crd- lol. nah den he wud hav thrown up even b4 eatin so wud hav gotten home earlier :)

@ felicity- thnx! bt i want to draw too. jus like u. kuch classes start karo na! :o

@ prateek- :D

@ fatima- how come? uff bada difficult sawaal pooch liya. main bata doo madam badiiiii mehnat ka kaam hai. poore 20 odd yrs day dream karte karte, parents se daant khaate khaate, frns ke saath bakwaas karne ki practise karte karteeee...hhh finallyyyyy ye outcome nikla hai!

@ ste- thnx fr droppin by. gues ur participatin too so gud luck :)

@ shahid- shukrann!

@ rinayaaa- hehe thnx!

Bikramjit said...

Wah ji wah .. in punjabi we say Phatte chak post :)

made me smile and laugh , men are like this frog he he ehe :) ooops i said it i am sure to hear otherwise ...

loved the post

Bikram's

wats_in_a_name said...

heeyy...a really cute story...loved it :)

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Since all blogs do not have emails clearly mentioned, we have taken the liberty of telling you of this by making a comment on your latest blogpost. Hope, you don't mind it.
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ITB team

suraj said...

its a nice imaginative story, could have done a tad better with the ending, but it does not take away the beauty of the whole post! so great post.

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ bikram- oye hoye! vilaayti munde nu punjabi aandi hai! glad u enjoyed it froggiee.

@ nibedita- thnx! delighted :)

@ indian top blogs- oh hey dats grt news. n more dan dat takin d tym n effort to evaluate so many blogs. really appreciate it! :-)

@ suraj- oh i dunno wat bettr end cud hav formed up. liked i mentioned earlier dodi meets tinky ought to hav been d logical way out :o

Zeba said...

Cuteness!!!!

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ zeba- thnx! :)