Saturday, May 7, 2011

Zeal uncut!

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 20; the twentieth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.


He stepped out of the lift and walked through the plush doorway, nearing his destination towards a door that read in small printed letters, “Miss Zuhaina Ali”.
His newest catch. If only his soaking wet shirt didn’t cling onto him, he may have made a better first impression, he thought.

Snip snip snip.
The best sound in the world.
Everything had to be just right. Ever since she had known a thing about anything, her drive for perfection had annoyed the living daylights of all around. They thought she was crazy, compulsive and cranky and took every opportunity to beat down her spirit into believing she was nothing but a piece of unattractive junk.
Like she cared!

They didn’t matter because there always would be a set of people who adored her; who wanted everything to do with her. Every word she said to them was devoured. Her clients. Her benefactors. Her angels.

Zuhaina never had to struggle for a stature. Everyone knew her to be an ace. If she took it up, there was no scope for the slightest error. They trusted her. Even if they weren’t aware of her credentials to begin with, the passion her eyes exuded was impossible to elude.
Oh yes, her passion- Hair.
No.
Perfect hair!

It was what drove her out of her dreams to a coveted reality. A confront to create a master piece every day. Everyone who came to her was but a slipshod work in progress. A diamond that awaited its eventual chisel. A withered disfigured skeleton that had been starved and needed nourishment.
She would feed it. The life breath back in, so its soul would beam and gleam of a new life.

She had trained herself to do it all. Her hands clucked at a pace that held others in awe. Fringes and curls, little flicks, shaft after shaft, it snipped little ringlets lightly over the floor, until what remained was perfect symmetry.

But that was not all. It was still a mop of hair.
The ordinary hadn’t yet evolved to be the brilliant.

It had to be tamed.... to match her tunes. To face the heat. To dance to her beat. And she led each little strand by its soft tips to be blown over her way. Up, around and about on her expert lean fingers.
What stayed was the one perfect look. Soft, smooth and easy. No wreath imbalanced. What the slightest breeze could bring swirling undone and leave a heap of gleaming volume.
If it was a mess, it was still beautiful.

And at the end, each time she held the mirror for her muse to see her work, she felt asphyxiated. Like her throat was closing in and the slightest drooping facial movement from their end would choke her.
But the smiles on their faces never disappeared. If anything, they grew broader. Or maybe she imagined it.
She finally breathed easy.
Yes, she was the best!

He watched as the little immature girl, absorbed in a trance, snipped the blonde hair of her little doll with what looked like utmost reverence.


The rain lashed on her window pane but she remained engrossed in her reverie, unaware of how the world broke down, sobbed and sniffed.
Nothing mattered.
His shirt was quite the last thing.

On the bedside table rested a neat array of dolls with pretty clipped hair.
Another queer schizophrenic at his clinic.
Ah, talented at that!
Talent....The stuff you praise out loud, the stuff you envy in your head. The stuff that makes life unfair.
Almost.


The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Credits
Image - Window Rain Drops by Eric Alder
Courtesy - http://www.deviantart.com/ via http://www.blogaton.in/

37 comments:

cloud nine said...

Hey Sadiya:) Touching post. When i saw the picture in blog a ton, i never thought such a lovely story could shape up...You are brilliant! Keep going, girl!

Shilpa Nair said...

This is awesome!!! Co-incidentally I was looking for something to do with Schizophrenia for my post, but backed out mid-way......Ur post is slightly dark n just the way I like it... :)

Deepika said...

Schizophrenia.... Everytime i read a post on it it touches a deep chord. And you know its a proved fact that people suffering from schizophrenia and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) are usually very talented in a skill or two but due to their impulsive behavior they aren't given proper outlet.
Very touchy post sadiya Di.
Very very touchy.

Hamza Bin Ladin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Felicity said...

You've done a brilliant job.

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

Well as a schizophrenic, i find this post from a third persons perspective different. Yes.
And sad too. But it made me smile, schizophrenic is not a disease to be sad about.

Infact I am awesome and evil. :P

Perception said...

Awesome post..loved the way you described her modus operandi..

The Fool said...

Most writers explore the schizophrenia theme sometime or the other. Even I have. I liked your rendering of the theme.

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

You know that the turn of events in this story was quite a shocker to me, and that little girl? her art was described exquisitely.
Beautiful post Sadiya :)

cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

:) Not the Sadiya-ish post but very well put. Your becoming a versatile writer :)

I am sure u ll get quite some votes this time :D

MAVERICK said...

@ Sadiya : Expressions find their way in a very beautiful manner in your writings. Indeed its a great fun to read them all.
All the best
P.S. : Nice texture / theme

The Xeno said...

wow! i especially loved the way you went about the story describing the things. Awesome!

Leo said...

Oh. I didn't expect that twist! The narration till then hid it somewhat well!

My Blogaton Entry

Fatima said...

Wow Sadiya that was an awesome one...din expect she was a Schizophrenic till the end..quite a shocker but must say it was a good one :)

Keep Writing!
Take Care.

Someone is Special said...

Very touching post Saidya.. the narration was awesome and the twist was so nice.. Love this post a lot..

Good luck for BAT....and ~ the pic became our.. the home became our... ~

and vote for the favorite entries here

Someone is Special

GvSparx said...

Ms. Pagerank 1 !!!! :D

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ nivedita- hiee ms newbieeee! congratulations! so sorry havn been able to write baq due to exms. thnx fr droppin by!

@ shilpa- chalo gud u dint, cos in dat case u wud hav surelyyyyy overshadowed my post *shudder*

@ deepika- thnx dats sweet n yea i read abt it on wikipedia too. most unfortunate.

@ hamza- no slang on my space, thnk u!

@ felicity- thnx dats very generous of u :-)))

@ siddhesh- yea awesome n evil is pretty evident. not sure y it struck u as 'sad' tho, cos d intent was to keep it pretty neutral *thinking now*

@ perception- merci!

@ the fool- u did? do send me d link n im guessin ppl try deir hand at it cos it makes for an unlikely twist

@ anshul- hehe thnx. courtesy dove commercials :P

@ muddassir- chalo lemme steal ur standard comment before u chipkaao it on sumone els.
'actually i wanted to do sumthin diffrnt this time' :P

@ sahil- thnx. sooo glad u like d theme! :))))

@ the xeno- thnx lamp post man....n gud luck fr ur exams :-)

@ vinay- rito

@ fatima- hie! thnx...appreciate it :)

@ SIS- :)

@ gvsparx- ??? din get u!

Ice Princezz said...

Wonderful! Loved every bit of it!

Joe said...

amazing...i could see the girl and her work in my mind while reading...a blend of sadness,darkness and reality....

Hamza Bin Ladin said...

OMG,I too sorry!!! The thing is I was listening to pInk's song,called "*_____ing perfect",so maybe a slip of tongue,fingers more-like,made me do the unintended.
I really feel BAD about this ;(

Fatima said...

Hie Sadiya,

I thought I followed your blog...realized it today it was someone else I was following and not you :D but the mistake is rectified now =)

Saw you on Weaver's Corner...but never on my regular updated blog how come ?? :-o *confused*

Take Care.

Purba said...

Applauds....and the way you ended it! Perfect.

sayedkhadri said...

You have achieved the "Perfection".. Great post Sadiya..
Loved it.. (as always :) ).

coolkamikazecat said...

The post does justice to your ending line - talent is what makes life unfair. Perhaps that is what prompted 'jala do ise phoonk daalon ye duniya' from Pyaasa.I just loved the end......this kinda idea for the pic was beyond my imagination.....

subtlescribbler said...

woah! u r pretty good at keeping suspense, now m sure of it :P wont say tht i liked d way it ended coz it was sad...yes, m very kamzor dil ki ladki u c :( but veryy well written!
i too wanted to participate in BAT this time but cudnt come up with nething due to wrk load!
some other time maybe..Good lck to u :))

Sarah

Hafsah said...

unexpected twist in the end, i was imagining a barbie the whole time in my head. u described it well and i loved the way you ended it, guess we have to accept the fact that not every1 gets to have a happy ending

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ aruba- thrilled!

@ joe- hie! thnx, dats such a lovely thing to sayyy!!

@ fatima- hehe ok. i hav NO idea. will set it rite :)

@ purba- awww...hai main qurbaan jaawa! :)))

@ sayedkhadri- nahi nahi. mus leav sum scope fr future posts :P

@ kamikaze- hieeeeeeeee! no yaar i havn cn pyasa :(
*dialogue sounds very dramatic tho!* :D

@ sarah- oh noooo. tum thik to ho na? :P
n areyyy im havin exms n stil wrote dis n ur sayin wrk load. nahi chalega, nahi chalegaaa! :(
nex tym pakka pakka wud like to c u on it :)

@ hafsah- hehe barbie? wel hey dere were dolls so i'd say u came close :)

anummunaf said...

adorable
heart felt :)

Prateek said...

Ending. It was so good that it took away the entire post's aura.
All the best Sadiya. :)

JamieDedes said...

Darkly post, well-written and well considered. Saiya! Nice contribution to Blot-a-Ton. Enjoyed.

Love the background you used for your theme. Pink and yellow togeterh: lovely!

the critics said...

quite a few schizophrenics coming in this time ....nice lovely story....the way of description was awesome

Sidra Sayeed said...

It sort of reminds me of Freaky Chakra. Also somehow feel a lot of what the protagonist was somehow mirrors the realities or desires of a character you observed or someone who wants to be but still isn't....

Just my two cents! :)

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ anum- zenk yewwww :-)

@ prateek- hie! glad u liked it :)

@ jamie- thnx! fresh face of dis blogaton! :-)

@ the critics- uhh well...read all d posts dis season n to d best of my knowledge dere werent any odrs :o

@ sidra- hiee! uve completelyyy disappeared frm d bloggin scene! wot heppund :o
n no i havn seen freaky chakra

whisperingsilence said...

I loved this post,coz its closer home...I'd a cousin suffering from it but God bless her, now she is married & successful in her life :) I pray for such happy endings for others too.
I loved the way u focussed first on the skills making the reader admire rather than feel pity for the victim.Wonderful post :)

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ rinaya- happy fr ur cousin. wish her wel Inshallah :)
n wel hate wa wa wa posts, hence dis take.
glad u appreciate it :)

GvSparx - Writing What The Heart Yells said...

I was quite surprised reading this by the author of 10 step jugaad to ROADIES! & The taste of water..
You've got beautiful variety on your blog...

Sadiya Merchant said...

gaurav- hehe yes d upside of blogging. kuch bhi likho, no one can complain fr nt bein focused :P