Saturday, March 5, 2011

Change, change, change!!!

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton Season 2 edition 18; the eighteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

I’d say WE WANT CHANGE and you’d think I’m running for Indian President but that’s not really on my list of things-to-do, given the potholes our current Prez has dug for us.....which is why I was hoping for change on another front.

Are you full on pakaaofied with the World Cup already? Have you heard more news items for it than even A. Raja going all ‘My neerdosh oo’?
Heard the same analysis doled out N number of times?
Good for you. Make that N+1 times cos it’s what I’m going to talk about too. *Now you know who didn’t need to steal the cookie from the Math teacher’s cookie jar*

You see right now I’m a bundle of self pity. My conscience is pounding at me saying, ‘OMG Sadiya! 15 days down the World Cup and you haven’t written a single post on cricket??? And you call yourself an Indian???? You are like a black dhabbaa on the name of a Bharteeya kanya which even Ujaala Safedi cannot rectify!!’
So for my peace of mind *btw I could actually try yoga too, but then I might end up breaking the floor or something*, I want to dedicate this entry to the changes I’d like to see in the World Cup. Besides, everyone has some vishesh tippani’s to give on this subject, so here's pitching in a few of mine too.

Course I don’t have peacock colored hair to my credit, but I certainly can tell a Four from a Six and who is out when. That much knowledge I suppose is enough especially since I am a girl!

Dear BCCI/ Match sponsors/Rule makers,

Yep you motu guys sitting in suits in that black box like room *Every time I think of that room, the only thing that comes to my mind is lots and lots of Mango Frooti’s. I have NO idea why!*. Ok haa so please listen to a few changes I would like to order from your end-

1- Why in the world do we have teams like Canada, Ireland, Netherlands and Kenya? Now believe me I am not racist when I say this, and I too believe in encouraging upcoming talent and blah blah but then unfortunately not at the expense of my time. And forget me *just for 2 seconds haa* I mean so many poor bacha log who are investing their precious time with board exams looming over their heads....what about them huh? And that too for 40 days!!! Dewddd! It’s a question of our bhavishya!!!

2- Puhleeeezzzz keep the matches in quick succession. It’s like we have to wait for an entire week to watch our Mummy land play, and that too against some dumb *no offence* team like Ireland! Do you have ANY idea how much mental agony that is for the youth? And worse, dwell in the fear of God forbid, losing to THEM! Yikes!

3- Next up, Piyush Chawla!!! I genuinelyyyy feel his bowling is God awful and there is no way in heaven we are going to get past the biggies with this fruitcake on our side. So emm could you like...emm chuck him out and get Pragyan Ojha instead? *eyes fluttering*

4- Now I know you guys are really intelligent and all that, but this whole idea of LBW appeal to the third umpire is like reallyyyy realllyyy emm....ok bakwaas! I mean not only does it question the on field umpire’s credibility, but also is a complete spoiler. It’s like you think a wicket is down and start celebrating by giving hi5’s to everyone all over the house, jumping on the bed, even mock the opponent team supporters in all the excitement andddddddd next thing you know, it’s a false alarm so that leaves a bundle of spent energy and a veryyy awkward-huh!-in-your-face kinda moment! Know what I mean?
In fact this is the signal Gandhiji was giving to us, when he said 'believe in karma'!

5- Puhleeeeezzz monitor the commercials. It’s a family channel you know! Just yesterday I saw a commercial, with a girl who enters her house and undoes her hair.
Ahem ahem.
So what do you think?
Naturally you mentally tune yourself for some steamy commercial.
Then she is in the shower holding a soap.
Automatically your head starts listing out the options of the likely soap brands....Lux, Dyna, Margo, Hamaam etc....or maybe a new brand like say Zarinacobaniacal Soap.
Next thing you know, it’s the commercial of Maruti Suzuki!!!!!!!
Emm ok hello?
Did I miss something here?
It’s the World Cup relay!!! Have some class yaar!!

6- Now a personal request. Could you possibly take Ravi Shastri out of the commentary box? He yells and yells and yells to a point where I think I will go deaf *scared eyes*
And I hate Nasir Husaain too! He not like India= I not like him. :-(

You see this is not just a game for us. It’s our passion and we take it VERYYY seriously! So don’t mess with it.
Also, deep down we feel nobody deserves to win more than we do. Others may be good too no doubt.... yea yea........... APNE GHAR MAIN! :P
Looking forward to a positive response from your end.
Sadiya Merchant

P.S. - Does anyone think Rameez Raja looks like Professor Snape from Harry Potter?

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MAVERICK said...

@ Sadiya : okies. firstly two words 'Dil Se', thats how I define your post. I have come back after a long time and believe it couldn't have been better.
Awesome reviews and seriously I wish if someone really takes them into consideration.
As far Shastri saabh goes, Bhogle once said he likes Shastri just as he maximizes of whatever he has, so you can understand his high pitched repeated tone.
And Rameez Raja and Snape, hmmm Really ?
All the best

The Fool said...

Ha ha. Good take on cricket. Did you miss ireland's victory over England though?

Md. Muddassir Shah said...

You are like a black dhabbaa on the name of a Bharteeya kanya which even Ujaala Safedi cannot rectify


You are definitely building on your strength at writing satire and humor. Loved the post

Saket Dabi said...

Up to Date :) in the sync ... articulative thoughts :)

subtlescribbler said...

so finally a world cup post and it is actually so good that u deserve this cup of chai from my side...offers ginger chai* :P
waise, the truth is i HAVEN'T watched a single match till now..but lagta hai kal match dekhna hi hoga :D
good luck for the contest!


cloud nine said...

ROFL Sadia dear...hahahha;) Especially that commercial, made me wonder WTH...And may be we can send Piyush Chawla on the Chandrayan 2, not to be heared anymore, with Shastri as company. Too much of noise and no work:(( sob sob...Why ban the poor Kenyans, Ireland and party? Better they can come next time for a friendly soccer match...If they can;t play cricket, let them play soccer;) Too good, love ur post:)

Harish said...

lol :-)

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ MAVERICK- welcum baq! abt d harsha bhogle!..makes sense!
n yeaaaa dont u think dey look alike? same to same hairstyle, height, face cut! no? do take a closer look nex time n i can bet u'll c d likeness :)

@ the fool- no baba. i did watch it, but like i sed above, 'karma'! Gandhiji ki jai ho!
besides, you dont really think dey cud win d wrld cup, do u?

@ muddassir- thanx man! i was thinkin u wer goin to giv a few of ur own xpert comments tho!

@ saket- hehe yea tried :P

@ sarah- wow! ginger chai...havent ever tasted dat!...n if u havnt seen any of d matches den dats ok...mos of dem were really dabba.....barring last weeks india clash....dat was electric....almost fell off d bed a coupl of times :D

@ cloud nine- lol! yes dats sum pretty grt ideas!

@ harish- heyyy! long time! thnx fr droppin by :)

Someone is Special said...

great take on the cricket and change.. Piyush Chawla, hmm he is worst bowler.. Overall a great post, Smiles, mine is what most people feel in their heart but no one acts to achieve it, Change

Someone is Special

Aashish Sood said...

Firstoff, after the current match between India and Ireland, I am sure that was a waste of time...

Secondly, I somehow dont think that Rameez looks like Snape

Thirdly, a good and honest take on the cricket and world cup in general. and liked the sarcastic tone.. and the slightly childish intonations in the post

Anonymous said...

Great post Sadiya..

Once upon a time Srilanka was the same team as Ireland/Canada.. now you know..
They want more viewers.. that's why the gap between matches..
I totally agree with you..the problem is he don't have the much experience in international matches.. I think he need a very good holiday!

If REVIEWS are going to happen so often.. I am wondering why one earth we need on field umpire.. ?
'believe in karma'! :)

There is one more commercial of CocaCola.. I didn't get the connection between 'Burrrr' and Coke ?? ;) Did you?

I enjoyed reading your post.. keep blogging :)

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ Someone is Special- yep! misfit!
wil luk up ur post n let u in on d feedbaq!

@ aashish- i agreee! it was sooo slow n boring!
gues im d only one who thinks d 2 to be alike. n yes thnk u fr ur attention to detail...mus say its rare! :)

@ sayedkhadri- hello ji!
u kno i like d beat of d song sooooo much dat i cudn stop singin it all thru yesterday....but d ad on d whole is really stoopid...ruined by d whole brrrr thing. lol!

bt despite dat, i really think wen it cums to being bad, maruti guys take d cake.
its like even if sum1 was considerin to buy d car, aftr watchin d commercial dey wud giv it a serious secn thot!

Saket Dabi said...

:D:D:D super funny , how can you right it so cool :) , I cannot even manage to write it that way lol... thanks for coming to my blog and putting up an honest feedback , thankssssss .
your post is among the most different yet most peppy (as u r :) ) .
Be connected buddy !

MAVERICK said...

Hey Sadiya your request has been fulfilled , I hope you pay a visit soon to check out the new 'change'

ANURADHA said...

LOL... nice satire :D

Pratibha The Talent said...

hilarious change and I loved the expressions you used in your post *eyes fluttering* *scared eyes* and the way you mentioned ad thing,I just loved it....tussi cha gaye ho*smiling eyes*.

Amity said...

I could only smile Sadiya...:) I enjoyed this post of yours though at some instances, I could not relate...:) Maybe the expressions are Indians and I am Filpina na!

Ha ha ha, I need to learn your language and expressions to enjoy to the fullest what your post means!

All the best!

Brijender Singh said...

Just read your Blog-Junta bragbin post.
Wanted to drop a line to thank you for your kind words and rather effusive encomiums.
Havent been able to either write or read much over the last few months but am hoping to correct that soon enough and will start with your CRAZY takes on the world around us !!

Take care, keep writing and thanks again !!

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ saket- post ek...comments do! bohottt na-insaafi hai :o

@ maverick- rito! :)

@ anuradha- hee :-))))

@ pratibha- wowwiee!
i dint even realise dere were 2 of dem. so happy u liked it! n dats a really cute sweet of u :)

@ amity- ohhh. im so sorryyy! thanx for reading it tho....if it makes things any better, d stuff in hindi wasnt really important u kno *embarassed*

@ brijender- its too bad u deserve evry wrd of it :P

The twenties girl said...

i really like your style of writing! :P ATB!

Sadiya Merchant said...

@ the twenties girl- flattered thnk u! :o