Tuesday, February 16, 2010

25 things about me


Every networking website has one box dedicated solely to this….about me…..and I never know what to write…..no matter what I end up putting down, it always……could have been better…could have been more….
So here’s 25 things about me……I have wanted to write this for at least a year now…….was the rage on Facebook at one point….but didn’t get around doing it…..well anyway better late than never. (Frankly I have written it more for my own benefit than anything else…..was curious to know what the mind would conjure)

1- I am always picky about everything….I always pick onlyyyy one best….make it the center of my universe and ignore everything else……people and things…both ways….and if they are gone, then I justttt can’t get over it.

2- I laugh in all the wrong situations….especially when I goof up or some apology required….the worse the situation the more I laugh…..the more I laugh the more people get mad at me…..this is the reason for half my problems.

3- I am the worst leader in the world. Anything that spells close to the letter ‘R’ of Responsibility stands messed up as soon as it enters Sadiya zone.

4- I am very touchy about my hair…I don’t care if people don’t like my attire….but if anyone sez my hair doesn’t look gud, then it upsets me no end.

5- I love all kinds of accessories…..clips, scrunchies, anklets, colorful bangles, long earrings…..all of them…..even shoes…..if I see a shoe shop……I’m glued to it.

6- I am no good with handling criticism…..I even have a lame excuse for it……If you do something with a one hundred percent dedication….then obviously you’re passionate about it…so how can you be ‘positive’ about someone trashing what you represent?...Makes sense?

7- I’m a sucker for quotes…..collect a million wallpapers, read them over and over and each time I feel they so truly fit into my life…..unfortunately never get a penny smarter….guess its all mumbo-jumbo.

8- I don’t think everyone chooses their profession or area of study wisely….I didn’t.…I misunderstood liking my work with being good at it and landed myself in a big dump…….my only aim is to be a C.A……if I accomplish that…..I will probably stop thinking this way and delete the point to replace it with something else. Hee! Fickle I know!

9- I totally suck at Math…..I mean real math…..I can solve the most complicated trigonometric problems but I dunno basic subtraction……if I go to a store and am billed for say Rs.77.63/-, I wouldn’t know what change to expect and would blindly pocket anyyy amount the salesperson gave to me.

10- I am not a big foodie. Till date I haven’t figured when exactly I’m hungry or when I’m done eating enough……till school I used to eat whatever my mom put on my plate…..now its an issue….m kinda lost.

11- I love swings……have 2 at home but none here……swinging makes me feel like I’m on top of the world……nothing nothinggggg makes me as happy……Life feels so fantastic! ….and I don’t care if others think that’s kiddish!

12- I am a very loved and protected person…….have always been…..don’t think I value all the people in my life enough…..but I do love them….get upset sometimes when they compare me with others or don’t let me do what I want….hmm spoilt!

13- Travelling alwayyyys makes me sick and excessively hyper…..it spells 3 words……panic, anxiety, nausea…..my luggage is always packed wayyy wayyy in advance and weighed at least 5 times…..think I take on my dad in this regard.

14- Greatest sense of achievement to me is my parents feeling proud of me for anything I excel in….too bad it always has to be academics…..makes it worth the trouble though. Besides, I’m really lucky too. Alhamdulillah!

15- I take a competition very seriously……however small or big…..if I ever lose at anything….it stays etched in my mind for life.

16- I love listening to music…….but I find it exceedingly difficult to pick one favorite song…..keep changing my mind……whenever I like a track….I play it back to back to back a hundred thousand times…..until I know all the lyrics by heart and can’t stand it any longer.

17- I find it very difficult to be nice to people I don’t like…..it just doesn’t come….end up embarrassing others because of this.

18- I haaaate fights…...I think I was naturally born to suck up to everyone…..even if 2 unrelated people fight……it makes me awkward.

19- It is my secret wish to be an author some day……I love to write…….and I can’t even write like the newspaper wala’s and I don’t know many many big words…..but I still love it…and I don’t care if nobody reads my book……I still want to do it once in my lifetime…..even have a title and characters in place…..just no sound story :)

20- I am a total introvert…….I never talk to strangers and I never call up people ‘just like that’. I don’t understand how others can so conveniently talk to a voice….but I do send a million messages…….I think SMS is the best thing that could happen to mankind besides Google and Maggi.

21- I love to create drama….exaggerate everything out of proportion…..if my hand gets slightly cut, I build it up like I broke my entire hand…..love to fuss over others too.

22- I think people who commit suicide and die for love are really really stoopid……there is no situation in the world that can’t be fixed…and no wound that time can’t heal.

23- I think guys cooking food is a total no-no…..a kitchen is solely girl’s territory…..for one thing they do not have enough grace and for another, if they did everything, how would they miss us girl folks when we’re not around?

24- I often talk to myself…...people seem to think that’s abnormal……maybe it is…...but what about when they exclaim at what they have done and say stuff like ‘oh no’……that too qualifies for talking to yourself na?

25- I don’t know how to shout…even in amusement rides….I just can’t scream!

When I started I couldn’t get beyond 10 points and now at the end I have so many more than 25……..had to delete a few…..I think I loved doing this….feels kinda light!!!…….guess everyone should try it……as for any soul who has read me yapping all the way unto the end….Thanx, you’re fabulous!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Pluto


When I say Pluto, I mean the ex-planet…..yess its not a planet anymore!!!! Kisi ne mujhe bataya bhi nahi! And I’m writing this 3 years too late. Well here’s in memory of the poor little baby…..what used to be the ninth planet from the Sun…..Dunno why but it was always soooo ignored by everyone…..the sciency folks seemed interested in finding water on Mars alone…..What about my Pluto??? …Also once called as the cold planet.…beechaar soooo small and soooo far away and now finally it stands abandoned.

If you actually think about it, all planets had something that they have been given by us earth folks…..For instance...
Mercury…..Has an element named after it and all thermometers use mercury….(uhm…yeah I know great research)…point is everyone does talk about it on a regular basis.
Venus…… Also known as the hottest planet…..and then there’s the book too….Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Remember???
Earth…. Course we live on it…..so its obviously hamara fevrettt.
Mars….. It has a yummy chocolate named after it!
Jupiter…..Known for its brightness and huuuuge size. Anything big on our planet and jupi comes in refernce….like ego the size of Jupiter
Saturn….The only planet with rings…. so extra bhaav given to it from us earthy log.
Uranus…..Has the element uranium named after it….haa haa wahi that is used for making atom bombs!
Neptune…..Has a Greek God named after it. Not bad oye!
And finallyyy….Pluto….Nothing!- just a dog named after it…….and its not even a real dog…..an animated one…...wo bhi with Mickey Mouse and gang working as a side artist! :((((((

Somebody please adopt him…..For all those not busy saving tigers…..please save my little Pluto!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Tomato is a fruit



Tomato is a fruit? Multiple doubts. Since when???? Why??? Who made it a fruit???

Jaha tak I remember when we had a vegetable carving competition, we cut out the tomato peel and made it look like a rose (cool na?)

So if it was a vegetable then, then how come it is not one now??? Or maybe it was a fruit then too and we didn’t know about it…..that’s probably why we didn’t win the competition.

Then again nobody uses it as a fruit…..…a tomato isn’t sweet, you don’t put tomatoes in a fruit salad and koi angle se it doesn’t look like a fruit……it doesn’t even smell fruity……considering all these properties…..Why cant we just call it a vegetable?? What is the procedure for changing a fruit to a vegetable? Doesn’t it bother anyone?

How to lose your mind in 2 days



That’s probably what Mr. Dan Brown should have considered naming his book, now known as- The Lost Symbol.
Before I begin, lemme do this the ‘telephone recorded message’ way- you know na the one that says- for reservations, press 1, for enquiry press 2, if your making a blank call then get lost…..tingg….music music.
Right that’s the one, n haan ji- myself the wannabe telephone operator.

So here it is- If you are a Dan Brown fan then close this window, if you are his xyz possessive relative then click the ‘x’ button on the extreme upper right corner of this window, if you intend on reading this book in your lifetime, then leave right now and don’t everrr come back again!
If you have none of the erstwhile mentioned issues then read on- (a wise decision may I say!- one that I wasn’t so lucky to avail of). Shall I also say tingg?...music music.

Haa chalo ab I think I can start….to begin with, I got this book free main….and as is the universal fact, anything that comes freeee has a charm of its own……the book was a monster 500 pages and I thought…..well aise bhi my schedule is wide open so no risk drowning myself in it……in case you dunno…another book from the same author…The Da Vincci Code was a sooper dooper hit ( I haven’t read it though), also there was Angels and Demons (yep the same one whose movie got into a lot of controversy)….now considering all the fame quotient and soooo many people fida on it, I thought it positively must have some very grand content…..for the record I don’t read such hi fi intellectual and philosophy centric books……made it my first attempt…..and as is pretty obvious......ended up being the last as well!

The story now- the first 400 pages of the book are wasted on an enormous build up about some psycho stuff about Freemasons, Ancient Mysteries, Masonic pyramids and Noetic Sciences…..don’t even bother looking up a dictionary for what they mean…..not worth taking the trouble…..the basic idea being some influential guy who knows about a hidden treasure is kidnapped…..his friend, a professor, in order to rescue him has to decipher symbols on pyramids, and aiding him is a scientist (the influential guy’s sister)……The kidnapper is another mad man who is covered head to toe with tattoos (!!!!) and wants to attain the secret treasure in order to become God (!!!!!!!!!!)
The next 100 pages of the book are spent in giving a pravachan to the readers on how each one of us is God (yep dats rite) and we have a temple inside us…. if that isn’t enough…people like me who think it is a whole lot of crap are actually in ‘darkness’. At this point, the author lost me completely…and the only reason I read on was to know ki after reading sooooo much…at least I should know what the treasure is na…and when finally the treasure was unveiled…tan tadannnn…..turned out it is just one word…….yes the treasure is one word!!!….damn you Mr. Brown…..the Word being ‘The Bible’ (technically that’s 2 words right??)- Whatever!

And I musttt tell you this….the book was divided into about 125 chapters each being 4 pages (impressive math huh!)…..and just about every chapter ended with lines like these…….he stared in utter disbelief….he couldn’t believe his eyes…..his expression was one of shock…..yes the saaaaame thinggg said in about 100 different ways. Interesting na?? Probably will get into Guinness Book of Records for that.

Bottom line- Next time I’m just going to stay away from any book that says the word ‘hidden treasure’….same thing happened with The Alchemist…..utterly disgusted…..better watch Pirates of The Caribbean instead….. I’m positive Danny wouldn’t care, but just in case he did, here’s 2 things I’d like to tell him…..
1-When you use the word ‘TREASURE’ normal people like me would imagine a huge box filled with gold or gems or money(not outdated currency)- BASICALLY SOMETHING THAT HAS SUBSTANTIAL QUANTITATIVE VALUE!….CALL IT SHALLOW THINKING IF YOU LIKE!!!!
2-MAN IS MAN……..GOD IS GOD……..GO FIGURE!!!

Aho ji….time waste kar ditta mera!