Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Confessions of a Couch Potato
Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there was a school that was genuinely famous for only 2 sports.... Kho- Kho and Throw-ball. And there was an average so so-ish girl...who for the sake of everyone’s convenience was a princess....as in me, your heroine. This is the story of her accolades in the sporting arena *Oh the things I get to do on my blog!! Balle balle!*
Kho- kho to begin with, is this game that the gaaoo ki gori’s play.....Oh don’t get this wrong..... our school girls gave it a whole new definition......there were girls who were actually kho- kho legends and played ‘pole tactics’ that would put global athletes to shame.....at least that’s how it appeared to me then.
Putting my self-obsessed foot forward, since MY kaarnaama’s in print is what is needed for a contest.....my take on the game was very simple. I thought it to be a piece of cake. You run, you catch. Easy!
Huh! Shock laga laga!!! For the first (and last) time I participated..... not only did I not succeed in catching a single girl, I also lost us our semi final match and no, I didn’t really care much about that....not because I’m mean (thoda thoda only), but because the sudden sitting and standing exercise all at once had made me so immobile, that I couldn’t even climb the staircase properly.....actually needed a friend to hold my hand as I climbed down one step at a time.....so much for kho kho.....and I told myself....Chahh.....dumb game....and what sort of a name is ‘kho kho’ anyway!
And then there was throw ball......which I gave a hand at too....but all my strength mustered together didn’t send the ball a few inches away from where I stood.....now imagine how desperate the team must have been to put someone like me on board....and then something terrible happened....the opponent team’s Mohamed Ali equivalent screamed “one-luv” and tossed the ball ye ghumaikeyyyyy..... next thing I knew, the ball jammed into my nose and I was on the floor.....course everyone was really nice to me then, with all the, ‘Are you ok dear’ kind of attention, but Alas! They put forth to me in the nicest way, that I needn’t be playing for them anymore. Buhooo!
Thennn to salvage the last shred of grace I had left in me, I cheered for them....but then whoever I cheered for, invariably messed up.
And that’s when my ex- team mates figured the divine sanket of bhagwaan.....That my presence is jinxed, and hence they sent me on to cheer for the opposition. Opposition lost! Muhahaha!!!!!!
There were other things I tried too......badminton, table tennis.....all the feathers of the shuttle cork came off after which my mumma refused to buy me another one and as with table tennis, well let’s just say I didn’t quite get the hang of how the service thingy is done. The only thing however, that I did do a good job, and mind you, even won a gold medal for, was The Grand Needle and Thread Race. Now that’s the sort of thing Olympics should be made of.
Despite my terrible success rate, till date I try my hand at a couple of sports that seem attractive and have minimal chances of me rendering irrevocable damage to myself or other players.....for instance two tappa (bounce) cricket with my brother and the other colony wala baccha log (it’s my fevretesttt sport of all time)...and I don’t want to brag, but I think I’m pretty good at it......after getting two chances of batting (cos I’m a girl!! Like duh!!).....I almost score as high as 20 runs on a bright sunny morning.....if that’s not talent, dude I’d like to know what is!
It’s too bad that my boss pays me so poorly and I can’t afford to go to Delhi, else I just may have won two or three medals for myself. Ahh well! Might as well just settle for watching IPL on SET Max with my big bag of Lay’s.......Sirjiii it’s dillogical!