Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Paul Baba ki jai ho!
With the sudden nuptial of one of our most eligible bachelor (Well I can’t say much about the looks part, but at least he was rich), the female audience was looking for a new Mr. Dependable and would you believe it, one week down and Bhagwaan ne already hamari sun liii!
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar can go fly a kite because we have found our newest hero.....he is dashing, sturdy and most importantly, has zero maintenance issues....still better all you need to do is feed him and you have the samaadhaan to all your problems......presentingggg.... the international sensation, the very famous and uber- yuppie....Yep that's right....Paul Baba!
Much has been said about his impeccable bhavishya vaani, and still more will be told about his ‘protection’ requirements, by Maneka Gandhi like animal activists. Too bad they don’t focus more on taming their own household species.
The big question- What now? Most people want to set him free in the ocean....other selfish ones are ‘worried’ about how he will manage after all the captivity he has been in......not to forget the loss of publicity that will depress him so utterly.
My take on the same?- Puhleeezzz give him to us Indians. Aise bhi we are such gareeb log (Hello Slumdog Millionaire?).....So do a good deed and have faith in the virtue of charity. Now you may ask as to how we are going to do justice to this fine act of philanthropy? Allow me to explain!
By creating a parallel IPL Stock Exchange off course....this will be the most sciency and advanced form of gambling...Oh no, gambling sounds too cheap so lets call it projective synergy.
This is how it works.....The animal obviously gets to predict who wins the cricket match but it doesn't end at that. There is a small role for everyone. What with jansankhya ki samasya and all....
The super saver members of our community can invest in 'Paul Baba Pvt. Ltd.' and their holding after a year gets converted to Reliance Petroleum equity. How? Mukesh Dada? Mumbai Indians? Remember remember? I am sure the deal will slice in like a breeze.
Next up, the udaaoo janta....well they can predict Paul Baba's verdict by sending an SMS from their lateshttt Max Mobile phone and win a freeee trip to Mud Island! How cool is that!
And last but far from the least, the team owners..... they need to bid for the food they would like to feed the octopus, over and above standard applicable rates....like Kadhai Paneer 50k+, Butter Chicken 75k+....You get the drift right? The food box as has been in the past, will be covered with the team jersey......this wayyy my Shahrukh Khan has his best everrr chance to win the tournament!
About the money that is pooled in, it can be allocated to an isssspecial 'Reduce- petrol- prices- cos- they- are- burning- my- damn- pocket- money' fund.
Ting tingg tidingg! Howzzat!
My only concern is, I hope Paul Baba likes our desi food.
Disclaimer- There isn't yet a law in the country that bars the public from betting on animal decisions. Hitherto, no personal liability of propagating illegal actions is attracted on the same :P