Friday, July 9, 2010

Damsel in distress- Part 1


I probably can’t call myself a damsel, but in distress, yes I am…..this happens to be a series of epic muddles that have happened to me as part of being the ‘girl in charge of the house’….for a whole month!

Sadiya and the washing machine

Surprise surprise! I have neverrr washed clothes before……The max expertise I have in this field has been dumping them in the machine and then drying them once all the sound coming from inside stops. (Mom taught me that…and she took care of everything in between).

Ok so now that nobody is at home, I obviously have to be the person looking after this honorable task and to be very frank, I didn’t think of it as a big deal at all. I mean karna hi kya hai? The very basic idea of any machine is to make things easy. And my cousin did offer to instruct me to which I stoopidly pushed it away with an airy “Oh don’t worry…I will manage” dialogue.

My tryst with reality- Turns out just dumping the clothes inside the machine does not make it start!! Shocked at first, I dealt with it by trying to read the print on the lid….Unfortunately because the machine is over 5 years old, most of the print has been erased so I had to play a guessing game, and that’s pretty easy considering I know so little Tamil and have to make sense of all that everyone talks (besides the point I know)…..

Coming back, the buttons on the machine…..Ok there are so manyyyy….one that says ‘Start/Pause’ and another that says ‘On/Off’. Hmm one second- doesn’t ‘On’ and ‘Start’ mean the exact same thing? Tried them alternately but nothing happened…..the fatso just wouldn’t move! Damn this thing!….Oh sorry I forgot to switch on the power plug. Duh! (Scolded myself for being such a dumbo)…..Started over and got the hang of it….First you press ‘On’ and then the red light comes.

The next thing is, you need to choose from another set of 10-15 buttons (Ok I’m exaggerating)…So now you need to set the level. Your options are ‘Low’, ‘Medium’ and ‘High’…..My piece of wisdom to the machine wala’s (As is mandatory)- Pathetic grammar! I mean dude this is a washing machine! So shouldn’t the print read… ‘Few’, ‘More than few’ and ‘Many’? Anyway so I chose Medium (I mean you can't go wrong with that because it’s in the middle... Uhh right na?). And it’s not over yet cos there is still one more set of buttons to choose from.

One that reads….. ‘Soak’, ‘Wash’, ‘Spin’, ‘Drain’. Now if someone was asking me that, I would just say – Wash, thank you. But no you can’t select that. You need to select more than one. It’s like ek pe do freeeee. Since I couldn’t get just ‘Wash’, I decided I wanted my clothes extra clean and hence pressed all the buttons and finallyyyy pressed the magic ‘Start’ button. Phew! Itniii mehnat!

So I left the machine to take care of itself and went to check out the newspaper….came back after 10 minutes and opened the lid.

No, no, noooooooo. Amidst this entire hullabaloo, I forgot to put the detergent itself! Aaaah. This is so frustrating. So added that…..No surprises I didn’t know how much…. So I put four huge spoons. Ab koi gadbad hone ka scope hiii nahi!!

When the fatso finally thought it had done enough exercise, it decided to stop and I carefully took my precious clothes to dry.

Later that day- IT RAINED!!!!! Mummyyy I miss you! :(((((((((((((

For Part 2..........

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