Monday, July 12, 2010

Damsel in distress- Part 2

Sadiya and Bengaluru ka paani not coming raas
Why in the world would anybody be motivated to call a place Bengalurooo? Any person not having much knowledge of our ‘Incredible India’ would most definitely think of it as some place in Bangladesh that has a flair for flutes.

Anyway, so this new take is about my 2 day visit to Bangalore (Yes that’s what I’m gonna call it and I don’t care what the Government thinks!)

Now in case you don’t know, Bangalore is a pleasant 5 hour drive from Chennai, mainly because the highway is Amul butter ke jaisa smooth.....

The journey now

We started at 5 am (read- some ehsaan faramosh people pulled me out of my bed, dragged me to the loo, forced me to brush and look presentable and dumped me in the car.....wo bhi WITHOUT BREAKFAST!!!). Needless to say, I slept like a log for the first 2 hours and then the lady rose for a cup of tea after which she slept againnnn.
If the journey was just eat, sleep, then I suppose the occasion to write about it, wouldn’t arise at in came the twist.....Of all the million lorries, there came one magnificent piece of iron that overtook our puny little Santro Xingg and at the speed we were cruising, despite the brakes being jammed, we dashed right into it.
My first reaction- “Huhh! Kya hua!” I woke up (C’mon!). Next thing we obviously got off to examine the extent of damage. Bonnet was disfigured to a point where it looked sad, the fan thingy broke, the coolant was leaking and well to put it lightly, we were in baaad shape.....

Over to the lorry wala dude- In all my life, I have never met anyone who is sooo unfathomed by an accident. He just wouldn’t get off his vehicle! (Maybe he was on drugs....There’s no other way I can explain that kind of an attitude). Still worse we were on the middle of the highway, someplace in Ambur and no help in sight (except the lady in the field behind us....but she was too busy with her buffalo or whatever cattle stuff it was)......Anyway, so we threatened to call the police and ulta a local guy said, we would end up paying the police more than the lorry guy paid to us. (That’s the pathetic state of law!)

Well the situation had to be mended so we rushed as an emergency case to the nearest mechanic (who I think was half drunk.....but volunteered to help us anyway)....kintu parantu he wouldn’t help with his mouth shut....Oh no!....he spoke all about his family, uncles, aunts, house, cattle, hometown....even his dreams.....We on the other end were helpless people who would listen to anythingggg, provided he got us in moving condition (Frankly, left to me, I wanted to abandon the car itself, but didn’t say so, just in case someone might slap me, seeing already irritated as they were)......ok so that took about 5 hours!!! In the hot sun!!! I felt more like a character from the reality show ‘Desi Girl’ wearing cargo’s and a cool shool top in a gaaoo like locality....and all this without anything to eat!!!! Course the exception being a glass of Sprite! ( And just so you know I neverrrr go hungry, not even if I am in my worst mood everrr.....not even if someone dies.....Pehle pet pooja, phir kaam dooja.....Yeah down-market dialogue I know....but even that falls in second to the place we were in.)

Starving, tired and tanned we reached Bangalore......and after much hunting, found the place we were to be put up at........Turns out, it was surrounded all around with cemeteries and was what you can call a prime location for movies the likes of Raaz-3.....hmm no had lunch instead (at 5pm! Reminds me of the commercial- Ab bas toot pado!)

The house hunt a little about the roads in Bangalore.....Noooobody knows anything about the place.....Either that, or they just hate tourists, cos every person we met would say the same thing for whatever we asked, “Third signal circle-ooo, and from there Ride-ooo”....That left us going in circle-ooo’s alright....I can’t remember the last time we took so many U-turns. The city’s roads in my opinion were made by some Ghajini like guy, who made a road with 4 lanes and forgot, so made another 4 lanes just adjacent and thus came into being, circles with 8 lanes and an utterly aggravated commuting janta. Amidst all this, we poor souls were hopelessly lost!...And don’t even get me started on the traffic.....I just wanted to break everyone’s car windows and scream at them for putting up with this confusion, but the lack of energy played spoilsport......Finally we found our place and gave into a peaceful night’s sleep. (Slept for 12 hours! For the record- without dinner! I will neverrr forget that!)

Next day- All was smooth and we got back home easy too.....only thing the people returning, i.e. us, were do tone tak adhik darker :(((((((. And to think I was planning to go to Mumbai next week, meet all my relatives and show off my new hairstyle......I wish I had concentrated more on those SPF or UPF or WTF rays wala commercials and invested in some sunscreen....Feels almost like having a pimple on the middle of your nose the night before prom....Aahh!

Good thing is, insurance pays for car damage plussss the biggesttt upside, WE ARE ALIVE!

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