Saturday, June 26, 2010

What the 'ladies log' want!



Answer- If philosophers, novelists and expert e-mail forwarders don’t have an answer to that, then what are the chances ki The Sadiya will know about it? Definitely zero! And I won’t even 'surprise' you by saying that you’re in for a 'surprise'. However there is this contest that I want to write for and also secretly wish to do a decent job at (I just said it, so not much of a secret now, is it?).....Well anyway, ab kya karoo?
Haar maan loo? No wayyy. The Sadiya will never do that!!!

So I have decided to do the next best thing. Picture this.....When you are in an exam and you don’t know the answer to the question, what do you do? You beat around the bush and display every possible iota of knowledge you have relating to the subject, in the hope that at least one of those things comes in the vicinity of the actual right answer. And worst come situation even if everything is wrong you can win yourself a sympathy vote for the sheer length that displays your dear dire mehnat! So I’m going to do the exact same thing here. Please lend your eyes for a bit and allow me to rant like a pigeon suddenly stuck in a roller coaster ride.

Ok so I thought a lot on this topic (yeah really) and I got mathematical logic working in my head......and you just won’t believe the brilliance that I came up with. Here is my todu fodu thesis. I’m sure even you will find it hard to believe ki ‘How come The Sadiya found it out’ but then what can I say......my good luck is really being very good to me these days. Ok ok now listen.....If you have studied Probability then you will totally get what I’m saying......If you haven’t then still better cos you can very simply skip the next two lines and won’t have any reason to disagree with me! Okies, dil thaam ke baithiye!!!......

[[[If X, (Matlab I don't know) = Probability of knowing what the ladies want
Then, ......X= (1- Probability of knowing what the ladies DO NOT want!!!) ]]]
Tadaaaaa!

Wasn’t that easy? Firstly, what is the number 1?....Well that obviously is unity...you know, the number that comes after 0 and before 2?? (like...duh!)
Next you may ask ki baba what are the 'things that a woman does not want'?...This I sohooo totally know.....you see although I am only 21 years old, then too they say the soul never ages and that’s why I have a woman ka soul (or something like that....sounds deep no?)

What a woman doesn’t want is.....criticism of any sort, dirty laundry, unhygienic people around her, perfectionists (cos they would make her feel kinda dumb all the time), bad teeth ( notice I said unhygienic and still saying bad teeth so double stress on this point).....oh and most important of all, unsuccessful relationships. Yep, that’s it! It’s all been figured!

And you know what the best part is? A woman’s likes can change but her dislikes alwayyys stay the same! Isn’t this cool? And to think The Sadiya came up with all this herself!!!!!!!

If you are wondering what hit you to read my ridiculous pravachan until here, then I can give you a takeaway gift as a thanks for putting up with me....as in a ‘moral of the story’ kind of thing....so you ‘learnnnnn’ something and don’t think I’m simply fooling around.

Here goes......Yeah pakka pakka last hai ye......And now I’m really serious......wearing my specs also.....The Sadiya thinks this whole problem of ‘What a woman really wants’ came into place when some poor dude was irritated by his girl yelling at him or worse, chucked him out of the house......so he said “I’ve done everything for this kudi.....got her an LCD with match wala channels, bought her car racing PS2 CD’s and despite all that, I get this! Arghh!! What does a women want!!!’. The answer lies in- She is not your game time buddy dude, soooo..... TREAT HER LIKE A PRINCESS!! LOOK INTO HER EYES!! WATCH HER SMILE!! AND MILDLY TELL HER YOU LOVE HER....OFTEN!...HOW DIFFICULT IS THAT??. Get these in order and believe me....even if you don't look so good (but within reasonable limits), or don't give her really expensive gifts (No, a feather doesn't count), then too she will go unimaginable lengths to bring you happiness!

There you are. I think I’m done now! :)

Rolling credits-



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