Saturday, May 8, 2010

Oye Bubbly!


As happens in more than most cases, in times when you are in the middle of some rocket science type calculations, with pencil in mouth, specs on nose, one hand flipping pages and another jabbing numbers in the calculator, your mind tries to play the goalkeeper saving as many shoots it can gather and when its exhausted decides to go on time out….right then, the biggest, smartest and most revolutionary ideas enters your head……totally unrelated though……however, we all know ki ek idea badal sakta hai aapki duniya so here’s my latest, newest, world best idea…

The build down first (opposite of build up in case you don’t know)

Have you ever noticed how much trouble it is to drive a car on Indian roads? Especially if you’re a girl!

For one thing you need to start the ignition…which never starts on the first instance…..krrrr and stop…dead……everyone in the car goes khamoshhhhhh…..you say a silent prayer and start again…..this times aahh. Chalo start ho gayi….then get the accelerator and clutch in sync, get the damn car to move…..and if there is a speed breaker on the way…..then it goes dead again….repeat repeat……..this is the first phase.

Second phase- when you are cruising on the road at 20 km/hr, you get stuck in traffic…..again keep your mind on the clutch, the accelerator, the break….look to your left, look to your right……look in front so you don’t end up killing someone….then there is the manhoos signal…which in all the confusion you end up overlooking and obviously good luck is sooo good ki paandu havaldaar comes and says….. ‘Medamm signal kyu toda?’… so you say sorry at leasttt a few hundred times and offer to be his free raakhi sister…….this happens so often ki you end up making a good 10 adopted brothers in the locality and all of them…yepp that’s right- havaldaars.

And the last phase- get to your destination and horror strikes…..hhhh reverse parking…..not only do you have to display your poor parking skills to 5 other people but in the process of holding them up, have to bear with their mocking looks too…mostt embaarassing!

Kab tak chalega ye sab?

All these problems ko dhyaan main rakhte hue, here’s what I propose…. Tadaaa….Sadiya Merchant ka aavishkaar!!!!!....Ok not aavishkaar…discovery maybe….and I know as is the case with all great ideas that are thought hatkey…shallow people lack the ability to gauge the extent of genius at face value and dismiss it as stoopid…… I trust you will be more mature and not do that!

Ok ok now listen!
You remember those bumper cars in theme parks?......those cute buggy like things that you ride and dash into 5 other people cos you think its funny?

Think about it…..its operation is the easiest thing in the world…..all you need to do is put the belt over your shoulder, step on the accelerator and release it when you want to stop…….no tension wali baat at all….even if you bang into someone, no one gets hurt!...Plus, no fuel!

So picture this….what if all cars were the larger and fancier version of bumper cars??? They look cool alright and if a theme park can afford to run 20 of them in one arena, then can’t be so expensive either…..anyone over the age of about 8 years can ride it…..so it basically fits all the criterions of what is required from a transport vehicle….and to top it, advantages like never before…..no one will ever die of a car accident again!
And what’s more….its new, its different and its fun!

In fact I have even imagined what this new creation would look like……Bumper cars x 3 times, available in yellow, red, white and black…….and haa it will be called ‘Bubbly’….you can accessorize it too! Course reverse would be a problem but then again every idea has a few glitches……for a start its light so you can just push it with your hands…Easy! (Saves a daily workout too.) And hey! Airplanes don’t have reverse gears either! If they can manage, I’m sure Bubbly will too!

Any one wanting to be party to my grand idea can get in touch with me over copyrights issues….am totally willing to negotiate! :)
Yea I know I know…..frivolous sometimes….but ki karaa….dil to baccha hai ji!

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