Friday, February 12, 2010
How to lose your mind in 2 days
That’s probably what Mr. Dan Brown should have considered naming his book, now known as- The Lost Symbol.
Before I begin, lemme do this the ‘telephone recorded message’ way- you know na the one that says- for reservations, press 1, for enquiry press 2, if your making a blank call then get lost…..tingg….music music.
Right that’s the one, n haan ji- myself the wannabe telephone operator.
So here it is- If you are a Dan Brown fan then close this window, if you are his xyz possessive relative then click the ‘x’ button on the extreme upper right corner of this window, if you intend on reading this book in your lifetime, then leave right now and don’t everrr come back again!
If you have none of the erstwhile mentioned issues then read on- (a wise decision may I say!- one that I wasn’t so lucky to avail of). Shall I also say tingg?...music music.
Haa chalo ab I think I can start….to begin with, I got this book free main….and as is the universal fact, anything that comes freeee has a charm of its own……the book was a monster 500 pages and I thought…..well aise bhi my schedule is wide open so no risk drowning myself in it……in case you dunno…another book from the same author…The Da Vincci Code was a sooper dooper hit ( I haven’t read it though), also there was Angels and Demons (yep the same one whose movie got into a lot of controversy)….now considering all the fame quotient and soooo many people fida on it, I thought it positively must have some very grand content…..for the record I don’t read such hi fi intellectual and philosophy centric books……made it my first attempt…..and as is pretty obvious......ended up being the last as well!
The story now- the first 400 pages of the book are wasted on an enormous build up about some psycho stuff about Freemasons, Ancient Mysteries, Masonic pyramids and Noetic Sciences…..don’t even bother looking up a dictionary for what they mean…..not worth taking the trouble…..the basic idea being some influential guy who knows about a hidden treasure is kidnapped…..his friend, a professor, in order to rescue him has to decipher symbols on pyramids, and aiding him is a scientist (the influential guy’s sister)……The kidnapper is another mad man who is covered head to toe with tattoos (!!!!) and wants to attain the secret treasure in order to become God (!!!!!!!!!!)
The next 100 pages of the book are spent in giving a pravachan to the readers on how each one of us is God (yep dats rite) and we have a temple inside us…. if that isn’t enough…people like me who think it is a whole lot of crap are actually in ‘darkness’. At this point, the author lost me completely…and the only reason I read on was to know ki after reading sooooo much…at least I should know what the treasure is na…and when finally the treasure was unveiled…tan tadannnn…..turned out it is just one word…….yes the treasure is one word!!!….damn you Mr. Brown…..the Word being ‘The Bible’ (technically that’s 2 words right??)- Whatever!
And I musttt tell you this….the book was divided into about 125 chapters each being 4 pages (impressive math huh!)…..and just about every chapter ended with lines like these…….he stared in utter disbelief….he couldn’t believe his eyes…..his expression was one of shock…..yes the saaaaame thinggg said in about 100 different ways. Interesting na?? Probably will get into Guinness Book of Records for that.
Bottom line- Next time I’m just going to stay away from any book that says the word ‘hidden treasure’….same thing happened with The Alchemist…..utterly disgusted…..better watch Pirates of The Caribbean instead….. I’m positive Danny wouldn’t care, but just in case he did, here’s 2 things I’d like to tell him…..
1-When you use the word ‘TREASURE’ normal people like me would imagine a huge box filled with gold or gems or money(not outdated currency)- BASICALLY SOMETHING THAT HAS SUBSTANTIAL QUANTITATIVE VALUE!….CALL IT SHALLOW THINKING IF YOU LIKE!!!!
2-MAN IS MAN……..GOD IS GOD……..GO FIGURE!!!
Aho ji….time waste kar ditta mera!