Friday, January 1, 2010

What's your Raashi

As you have been acquainted with my multiple talents already, I would like to make a humble addition to this modest list- Bhavishyavaani!!! Yeah I can do it sometimes, but only for very special people and you happen to be among the lucky few. Course you might question my intentions n say- since when did I become your relative….in response to which all I can say is…. Don’t get personal….I’m feeling kind today and this happens to be my New Year’s gift to you….and haa before you form any newer questions in your head, allow me to begin

Yes, thank you. Here’s how the coming year is going to look for you

Aquarius- Ahh! Terrible! You are going to have a huge argument with your mom for not cleaning your mom…but don’t leave home and go away….after all jaane ko aur koi jagah bhi to nahi…..just tighten your fists and break a few plates…oh and tell yourself….aal izz well!
Lucky color- Golden
Relationships- Not so good. I suggest you shut your eyes all of this year cos anything remotely relationship-like will end in major disaster.

Pisces- You are going to be consistently visited by relatives from near and far….be nice to them…..u know na.…atithi devo bhava!....Show them around and alwayyys keep a bottle of Mazaa in the fridge…..just in case it falls short…nooo don’t add water…..tip in a few ice cubes baba. Sab kuch main hi bataoo kya?
Lucky color- Beige
Relationships- You will make plenty of new friends after which people will get bored of you.

Aries- This year is going to bring you plenty of surprises. Your domestic helper may run away for a start….with your driver…. so you are going to have to become the new nanny plus driver plus dhobi of the house..…might I recommend…easy off bang…bang aur mail gayab!! careful though, because your over enthusiasm will inevitably make a few puddles of muddles
Lucky color- Shocking pink
Relationships- Nah no time. Arey yaar prioritize!

Taurus- You are going to find yourself a rewarding career…with a very nosey manager. If you want to make peace with him…take a shower everyday….nope do din main one time nahi chalega.
Lucky colors- Red and Orange
Relationships- A lot of positivity indicated. Just implement your lucky color scheme on your clothes put together and you will undoubtedly win the attention of anyone you so desire. People won’t get enough of you…they will just look and look and well…look!

Gemini- You are going to make some fairly elaborate travel plans but your visa won’t show up last minute. Don’t be disappointed cos you will settle for visiting your mummy ke sister ki niece ki cousin ki friend ki mummy from the neighboring city.
Lucky color- Indigo
Relationships- Good times to come

Cancer- Your talents are finally going to get recognition on a global scale… fact there is a very good chance that you might be featured on the cover page of one of the forthcoming pet journals…..keep the magic smile coming!
Lucky color- Magenta
Relationships- New turn to old beginnings.

Leo- .Your health shows certain signs of disagreement…. Keep your medicine box close at hand, the doctor’s number saved in your contact list and ghar main ek kaala Hit laake rakhne ka….after all ek macchar bhi dangerous hai!
Lucky color- Mustard
Relationships- You will pass on your disease to everyone you meet and they will dump you in the later half of the year for the same.

Virgo matlab kanya raashi- The upcoming year looks pretty accident prone for you. No major ailments but you might fall down a couple of staircases…..a couple of times….strictly advised that you wear your spectacles day in and day out.
Lucky color- Parrot green
Relationships- So long as you don’t act over smart everything will be fine….charming as you always are!

Libra- 2010 looks alright for you. A promotion is indicated with a raise of almost 200 Rupees!! Plenty of travelling also seems likely… a radius of 5 kms from your house.
Lucky color- Farmville green and brown
Relationships- Just go with the flow.

Scorpio- The hard work you have put all of last year…will finally yield benefits… your friends and colleagues….however don’t let this depress you as you will have their undying gratitude.
Lucky color- Bright sunny yellowww!!
Relationships- Fabulous. Lots of new faces…..not very good-looking though.

Sagitarius- Recession is going to hit you hard….in all probability you will lose your job or have a sharp wage cut….still worse your parents won’t grant you a big allowance and most of this year is going to go kadki main.
Lucky color- Saffron
Relationships- Sorry! Can’t be afforded!

Capricon- This is going to be a fortunate year for you. You are likely to get a tax refund. However your partner will spend it on some decorative item and a huge fight will ensue. You will also meet a painfully dud like guy on one of your travels, but be patient and let him sleep on your shoulder…..he just might end up being your lucky mascot and hand you a huge business contract. Lucky color- Grey and Violet
Relationships- Oye lucky, lucky oye!

P.S- All the above information is true to the best of my knowledge ….biased in some cases where concerns friends and family…..Course, if it were to be proved contrary in the course of the following year… then it is purely because God is punishing you for exploiting my invaluable services free main. Stay safe, be happy and blow lots and lots of balloons.

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