Friday, November 20, 2009

Drone away with Drona

You know there are times when you watch a movie’s first promo and irrespective of the sweat and tears and years and decades that have gone into making it, you just shake your head from left to right and think…..nope nahi chalegi!

Drona was one such movie. Not a single person I know went to watch it and when a movie buff friend of mine asked the group if we would like to watch….a glare from all of us was enough to speak our mind. And in spite of all that when its worldwide TV premiere showed up, I very faithfully watched the entire crappy thing until my eyes could take it no longer and snapped shut into a disturbed sleep. You must probably be thinking….was she that desperate to watch a movie?? Wellll, I have no answer to dat :$
This here is not a review of the movie… mainly cos u must have already read its wholesale main buraai in the newspapers. No, this is a little more….giving them a moral back up is more like it….. to say…don’t worry Abhi bhayya hum tumhare saath hai.
Here’s presenting you something different. 5 reasons why you mustttt watch the movie- Here goes. (Wanted to write 10 but didn’t get past 6 so giving you 5 plus ek bonus for paying itna attention to me rattling nonsense. Mera nahi, it’s my friend’s idea)

1- Its good for your hindi- Drona, my friend, has the ultimate upyog of shudhhh hindi. And its so hi-fi that you might doubt yourself to be watching the Sanskrit version galti se (as if the hindi version wasn’t a galti by itself). Have a party at home and can’t think of lateshhttt tongue twisters??? Tension na lo ji. Here is your resource. Pick any dialogue at a random and it will surely do more good than kaccha paapad pakka paapad.

2- Wowwiee kya costumes- Jagmag Jagmag!!! The most pressing issue in today’s time is energy conservation. Tune in to any news channel and they will confirm it for you. So what do you do now?? Nahi pata?? Ok ok main hi bata deti hoo- wear these jhataak Drona waale clothes. Ek to you will tohoootally stand out and still better you don’t even need to turn on the lights. The light energy will just emnate from within you…..I know, I know… your personality itself is enough to do that. But try this. Just for me ok :)

3- Udti Udti Zulfeinnn- We have seen hundreds of thousands of Bollywood starlets lagaoing thumkaas with fans blowing their hair in every direction. But how many times did we see that happen to a guy?? Hardly ever. DRONA…the movie that has made a breakthrough and set a mark on treating the less fairer sex at par with the ladies! Don’t believe me?? Look at the poster of d movie! Abhi bhayya ka long hair… so long ki he even needs a hair-band so it won’t get messed up and itnaaa shiny straight ki u need to wear sunglasses just to cut the glare.

4- Singing JLT- JLT bole to Just Like That (thought maybe you won’t know). Yeah to expand further on this technical point, we know people singing in bathrooms, we know people falling in love and singing under trees…we even know annu malik singing..annu malik is the best…annu malik is only one….nobody is like annu malik etc. etc.…(????)….but have you heard of singing just by the mere look of a doggie dressed in a frock?? Nahi na??? Here is your world best chance. Why spend money on Sri Sri Ravi Shankar or Art of Living or Yoga when true inner happiness actually comes from looking at dressy dogs?? Waat an idea Sir ji!

5- Advertisement waalo ki life kaunu life naahi hai kaa??- If people have told you that the movie is incomprehensible and plain ridiculous then its all been created that way for a reason…so you can pay close attention to the commercials (kuchhh to dekhne jaisa hona chahiye na)….they put you in a position where you actually look forward to seeing them and if it wasn’t for this magnificent piece of art I would have never known ki Vaseline ka 100 ml bottle par you get 13 Rupees ka Pears saabun muft!!! How cool is that!!!!

6- This is the bonus point that you deserve as a reward for your perseverance- Animation- Ye to sacchi genuine reason hai. Abhi bhayya is trapped in a Lakshman rekha of fire… give a horrific expression and cover your mouth……hhhh u say…..but he being the macho man with flying hair….does some zoom zoom and meditation and Voila! Aag becomes thanda….evaporates… and becomes sand and suddenly he is in the middle of a desert. Chalo jo bhi hua… jaan bachi so laakho paaye. Ram Gopal Varma should have picked up a thing or two from here.

Ye sab sunne and dekhne ke baad I’m sure you will race to your nearest DVD store and get the first pirated CD that you can lay your hands on (relax nobody will sue you)….itminaan se listen to chintoo bubble gum ka ads and breathtaking graphics…..Hail!! Drohohoooohooooonaaaaa. Mat ro na. Please! :)

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