Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Achhoo!!! I think that’s how you spell a sneeze

Ever noticed the way different people sneeze? It’s pretty interesting if you think about it-

# There’s a set of people who sneeze twice in quick succession…..acchoo…acchoo…and that’s it….. sorted………………….
# And then there’s the type who make it an elaborate ordeal. First their brain gives them d sneeze signal a good 10 seconds in advance- probably tells them……. ‘Hold it Bebe!’......so in response they go in a sudden statue mode, stop whatever they are doing……. and with much deliberation give a soft…choo… plus sniff sniff plus sad eyes plus I’m sorriieeee!.........
# And there’s still a third type of people who are more boisterous and prefer a pinch of drama. They just go… and without any warning………aaaachhoooooooooooo…… n the impact is so great and sudden that you almost drop everything you are holding that very instant!

Well that’s about sneezes but the real thing I want to talk about is- cold…..or common cold as we say it or nazlaa or zukhaam or sardiii….whatever you call it…….much the same thing……Now what you cannot deny is- everyone gets a cold once in a while….(even Queen Elizabeth maybe…that’s probably why she carries a purse…so she can keep tissues!)………. But when they are not affected by it, most people think of it as no big deal….for instance, if you call in sick for work and say its because you are down with a cold……..the boss almost gives u a condescending treatment….its like saying….. ‘I can’t come because I chipped the nail on my pinky little finger’……Even your colleagues would suggest later…. Arey why didn’t you just say you fainted yaar! Easy- No need to call also!

But well I do not understand. We have medicines for the most scary sounding diseases….cancer, leukemia….n God forbid still worse ones (can’t think of any other’s rite now)……..and in contrast there isn’t a cure for something so basic….y the name of the disease itself starts with the word ‘common’!
And you might think that there is all this D- Cold total n Vicks Action 500…..sardi sar-dard se aaraam….. whose commercials show the guy with a red nose to start with, n once the pill has been gulped down, he’s fit and fighting and even has a birthday bash for his kid. Nice! But might I tell you… its actually bakwaas…..and I have personally tried it……First of all- the cold didn’t go and Secondly, I got to know later that it causes the blood to get thinner n effects your brain….so I’m definitely not going that road again….and now that you are reading this, I suggest you don’t either.

Of the other options there is- Strepsils…tastes yuck yuck yuckkkk!!!! And you can’t even tell the difference between whether your throat feels bad because of the cold or the taste of medicine. And if these aren’t enough….everyone u come across is especially sympathetic to seeing the tissue in your hand and has a solemn piece of advice for you……ranging from d baaju wali aunty ka..…haldi wala doodh pee lo beta…….. to mom’s…..kaha than na thanda paani mat piyo!!! …..to drink garam garam beetroot ka soup (??? Beetroot ka soup? )…… to steam……. to a friend even suggesting- drink ‘joshanda’…bohot acha hai… I don’t even know what it is!!….sounds like egg boiled in Pepsi or something. Eww!

Basic conclusion I draw is just this- the doc community HAS to do something about it! And in the meantime I guess, the aam janta is just going to have to rub their twitchy nose and sulk and type out these frustrating posts on their blogs :(

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

IPL- Manoranjan ka Baap!

If commercials could be categorized under a head termed ‘lousy’, the Manoranjan ka Baap advert would definitely make the cut- n top notch I say. But that aside, the event by itself did prove, and unto most critics’ disappointment, to be the Big Daddy of Entertainment. With the glitterati event making a clean sweep of the Indian audience twice in less than two years, its created a larger than life status- a master stroke targeted at just the right nation.

And what flows from the above is my take on all the teeny little things that got the innocent mind’s attention. Before that- u mite like to know that my cricketing knowledge is highly questionable…I do know d basics but not much of d technical stuff… like pitch conditions or line n length or off side n on side…d likes…… but being a girl I guess that's ok…not expected from me anyway….n what follows is a bit over d top thinking… in other words...just b prepared …….u see d good thing is…here I get to call d shots ;)

Rite- Block-wise classification-

The Deccan Chargers- Them first, obviously because they were the champs. Max kudos to the Captain- Adam Gilchrist! In my opinion the bestttt captain of any of all the teams put together… humble n what's more, a winner all the way. On the whole I really think they played as one well knit team. N den there was Rohit Sharma (Pretty much the star and savior at many points in d game). Andrew Symonds…noooo I'm not a fan n I don’t even like him n he wasn’t even thaaat good but what got my attention (n d reason y I’m writing about him) was d white thing on his lips. Allll the time!! Every single match! Just out of curiosity I’d like to know what it was… fruity flavor? So when you run a lot n you feel hungry den u can jus eat d white stuff??... Or maybe some kind of tan protection… but do lips get tanned? Chapped- yes. But then again why white? Dunno. Beats me.

Next up, The Mumbai Indians- To begin with I think the name of the team itself is weird. I mean all the teams are Indian n have equal Indian-ness, den why this special Indians tag attached to d Mumbai walas? N the jersey wasn’t cool either. Jus plain, boring blue… About the team, apart from Sachin Tendulkar n Jayasurya I don’t even know who else was THERE. Lost out rite from d start n my guess is no one really missed them. Kuch latka jhatka kiya nahi naaa….maybe that's why. Just faded away

The Royal Challengers Bangalore- Whether it was Rahul Dravid ke ghar ka naya chiraag (he had a kid) or Anil Kumble…one of d 2, proved wayy wayyy lucky for the team. The coolest comeback I would think- plus Katrina Kaif who cheered for the team-about her, nothing much to say..orange suits her I suppose……. only not so cool was d team owner- Vijay Mallya, who for some reason gave d impression as if to say….'I don’t care how you win...jus get me baq my money!!!' n also never missing a chance to promote his formula one ka team…Hello!!! I thought we asked for cricket! Neway…vadde vadde log!

The Delhi Daredevils- I musttt say… I thought they had d best jersey n Daniel Vettori to go with it!! (mera fevrettt). Rite- focus. D team in my opinion really deserved to win… at least they had a killer performance at all d other matches but thenn- bad luck hi kharaab hoye den kya kar sakte hai. Virender Sehwag was good too. N I was reallyy glad to c that- (same to same birthday jo hai hamara). Almost thought he was nearing retirement.

The Chennai Super Kings- Lame name. Lame team. N still worse was d fact that in spite of being aware of this lameness I cheered for them rite up to d semis (that’s when they lost). Matthew Hayden was d only shining star… all the runs from d balla n d catches go to his credit… about everyone else… well they just seemed to b jogging around on d field n doing time pass… worst fielding ever!!!!!

The Rajasthan Royals- Enter Shilpa Shetty into the cricketing arena….d promotional song….personally I dint like it at all… but I guess its because it had all dose old zamaane ka mehels n ethnic stuff…back to d sport…great expectations… all came crashing to d floor….n frankly I dint mind it. To me, they were just extras n I was mighty glad to c their not so shaahi exit.

The Kings XI Punjab- I don’t quite get d name of d team in the first place…if it’s a king...then its gotta b one n if u have 11 den doom is definitely near…but they didn’t collapse easily though…not with Preity Zinta’s backing… she was awesome… from start to end n I actually wanted to see more of her than d team (what can I say…me a Bollywood fan na)….Well! ……And red jersey? For a cricket team? Strange! …..back to the team evaluation…. Yuvrajj Singh!...Seemed to b d angry young man on d field….unfortunately don’t remember any of d other players to comment much on them.

The Kolkata Knight Riders- Shahrukh Khan!!!! My heart really goes out for the poor guy…did everything rite except….well, buying the wrong team…..the promotional song was catchy (kodbo lodbo something somethinggg- don’t even know what it means), but the team…hmm consistent flop, flop n more flops :(
Maybe it was Sourav Dada ka prabhaav. Everything seems against him these days. Probably ‘Shaneey’ is really bhaari on him…n whatever happened to the cheerleaders… an entire TV show was dedicated to picking the rite ones for the team n they all jus went poof in smoke. Didn’t see a single Indian face on d squad…nothing seemed to work their way I guess…course d Mac Cullum guy did put in his best efforts to rescue the team at the end…. kintuuuuu parantuuuuuu…too little too late!

And no I’m not done yet…there were other things too….Mandira Bedi ka new hair cut (total no no)…Chang on d commentary club (if u don’t win a Crore of Rupees at d Indian Idol, no worries...there’s still scope for a far better future)….the Closing Ceremony (was pretty wowwiee)….Lalit Modi every now and then with his fancy lappie and boring updates…Miss IPL (she came, she went n nobody even knows her name!)….and the large multi-size Indian audience, who clung on to Set Max for a whole month or however long it was! Even the movie wala’s were put out of business by matches being telecasted at d multiplexes… sure says one thing about us……WE ARE A CRICKET CRAZY NATION!!!!

A Slice Of Mumbai!

Sez a somebody writer- You’ve got to see 2 things in Bombay- Bombay Rains and Bombay Girls.
But with d transition from Bombay to Mumbai, this cliché has been cut past. Now it’s everything rite down to the soul of Mumbai that you would have to be invariably inert to miss.
My post here is a round trip of the City that Never Sleeps in its quirky facets that the sight seeing folks might miss bringing across to you.

First up, Mumbai ka khaana- If you are a foodie, this is d place for you. Simple stuff- road ka vada pav, pani puri, paav bhaji, masttt cutting chaai….all of that… it all has a different flavor…(not eaten in d rite conditions, mite cause some issues with ur digestive system though), but then the experience is what counts right?.. bottom line …fabbb food.

Mumbai ka brand name!!- Isstyyle here at d janta level isn’t overdone…. Ranging from Fashion Street to Linking Road, where u get d choicest variety for d cheapest deal (anythingggg for a hundred bucks!!!). Yep thoda bargaining karna padega… with d thelewala ranting about – dhandaa is mandaa n market is thandaa, takes a bit of patience n practice... but its all worth it in the end. N to make u feel better u can walk away with 10 kurtis for d price of one designer wala (C’mon label kaun dekhta hai! N u can’t even wear d same dress to d same place more than once……Arey its uncool yaar!)

Next up, Mumbai ki local yatra- N by that I mean commuting-.…
With trains… from d world famous VT or Churchgate stations that take u through d length n breadth of d city in just about a snap……that too with minimal effort… u don’t even have to walk from d train to d exit….d crowd takes u d distance…all u need to do is stand! Convenient na? N if you are late den your set of ‘train friends’ will even cheer for u as in an Olympic final…‘jaldiii. Jaldiiii. Arey baba jaldiiiiiiiii!!’
N with d red color wala BEST buses (they r all new now), u have d blue shirt TT uncle who ensures u get a seat if you are a girl (sweet na) n time pass ke liye u even have d radio station that plays malishkaaaaaa or anirudhhh. Haven’t done any research but I don’t think buses elsewhere in India have that…as is implied….its all one step hatkeyy.

Mumbai ka language- Idhar rehne ka hai to aisa ij baat karna mangta hai! You cannot overlook this one. Mite b a little less classy or even sometimes rough for a conversation in polite company but it still is undeniably cute. With roadside taporis ka ‘kya re’ ……..d taxi drivers ka ‘zyada jhikjhik’ … d kaamwali baai ka ‘time khoti nahi karne ka’…….d lingo grows on you and you can’t help but smile.

Mumbai ka Indian wala spirit- Take a flight that lands u at Chatrapati Shivaji Antarashtriya Havaayi Adda n you'll know what I mean. D minute d aircraft door opens n a gush of warm breeze blows in your face, it smells like- well, India!.....have no other way to put it... u have to b there to believe it. N not just that... even in the theatres…d cheapest, d biggest, d bestest or the priciest… they all have one thing in common…no not Shahrukh Khan on their screen but I mean the Indian National Anthem…n I mite sound a bit patriotic or even dramatic here…but it gives a good feeling when everyone stands to it…an untold sense of equality.

Then, the Mumbai ki jantaaaa- U mite have d media portraying a bhaai type version of Mumbaikars who utter swear words at d drop of a hat and bajaao d happiness of people messing with them, but that's not really true.. well at least I haven’t seen it… what I HAVE seen and known is… outgoing n helpful people who don’t mind sparing a second to look out for u n if you’re infinitely lucky, then even getting you to your destination if u can’t find your way. Not everyone does that u know!

And finally my fevrettt- Mumbai ka star attraction- Nariman Point!! this here is one magical place…perfect location. perfect view…n any company is d perfect company…. ever walked barefoot on sand? If u haven’t, u musttt... (Make sure u keep your footwear in a safe place though)…there’s a very good chance that once u cum here you’ll fall in love with it (the place, not the shoes….!). You don’t need a foreign destination for rose colored vision.... this here is as good as any place can get- plus the local touch, minus the nostalgia. Worth a try, don’t u think?

Now that I’m running out of other things to say, here’s the gist for you- Pick a destination on the face of the planet…..from the spectrum of what’s likely to emerge thus, there’s one place, that breathes of a breed of people who’ve faced trying times………. come floods, come terrorists, come economic slowdown… it lives on… with the people flashing a smile and a die hard spirit, stepping to the rhythm of the beat…and may I say Sir, in style!.…….Yepp! The one place that’s got enigma…..a class apart...…Amchi Mumbai!